I’ve Been a Moron – I Took It Too Far

This has no substance to it. The real post will come – well, I don’t know when.

I’ve been wracked with guilt for the past 2 days over my actions and the pain I’ve caused people. I’ve been terribly confused and horrified over my feelings for Ash.

I half-hate him right now. It’s complicated and I don’t want to explain right now. I feel truly sick at myself even if it technically wasn’t my fault; I was only telling him what he’d asked for.

But I broke a promise to a “friend”. A promise I’d PROMISED to keep. Didn’t work out so well, huh?

I’m so sorry. I need to let you guys know that things aren’t very good right now, but they’re getting better. I think. I need to calm down and I can’t even think properly.

Fuck it – I’m taking the whole damned week off. It’s half term anyway.

Sorry. I’ll blog later and try to catch up on reading your posts.

From Elm

15 thoughts on “I’ve Been a Moron – I Took It Too Far

  1. Don’t beat yourself up about this Ash. If he asked for something and you told him, he has to live with the consequences of your words. If he can’t cope with it, he shouldn’t have asked in the first place. So, that’s not your fault. Accept it. It’ll make you feel a bit better.
    The promise is broken. Nothing you can do about it. The only thing you can do is admit it to your friend and ask for forgiveness. The rest is up to him/her.
    Cheer up, even if it’s hard. You’re a good girl, don’t you ever forget that!

    • Thank you šŸ™‚ But it’s not Ash that’s angry. It would be other people if they found out what I did – they suspect anyway, but they would truly truly hate me because I’ve gone too far.

      • Well, you could either let the suspicion be your constant companion or admit your mistake and suffer the consequences. The first will never take the guilt off your conscience while the second will be extremely painful. It’s a tough situation. I mean, you can learn to live with guilt and deal with pain. But I guess suspicion will always be there while pain will fade once it has hurt. Does that make sense?

  2. Things will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay then it’s not the end!
    That probably sounds like super shitty advice right now, I know, but in one way or another everything will fall into place. And, even if they don’t, we all love you! šŸ™‚

    • Thank you so much! That’s actually really strange, that quote is the same quote that Ash told me oncea when I was feeling miserable. It is fantastic advice – don’t doubt that.

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