Telling Myself to Breathe, Breathe, Breathe

It’s been a terrifying day.

Literally. The whole day I’ve been messed up – look at yesterday’s oh-so-cheerful post to understand why that might be.

I’m trying to get over him. STUPID teenaged cliche fucking phrase.

It’s failing. HA! Did you REALLY think it’d work? God, you guys know me well enough by now to know that it wouldn’t work.

I had a chat with my friend Red today. It still counts as a tree name because Redwood, y’know? Er. This is not supposed to have humorous elements in it! Just so you know if you haven’t read EVERY SINGLE ONE of my previous posts (I’m joking) I spoke about Red in this post.

I needed it. To talk to him, I mean. I ran through what happened – still not able to post it here because otherwise I’ll freak.

But I need to breathe. I had too much homework earlier and completely freaked out. I had to breathe. Damnit, Elm, just MOTHERFUCKING BREATHE!

I also talked to another friend of mine – I’ll make a name for him later. He gets it. I was stupid not to trust him with this before.


I’m okay now. Ha, I’m not. But Ash is a bastard right now and I can’t deal with it.

I’m going to talk to my friend Fern tomorrow. She was involved. Not talking to Holly though – GAH, I need to explain this. Not now. Later. Buggering hell.

Sorry about all this. I’m going through a crappy time right now and I’m trying not to take it out on people. Seriously I am SO SO sorry. I hate making you read this.

Makes me feel guilty. Ah well, if you didn’t want to read it, you wouldn’t have got to the end πŸ™‚

From Elm

21 thoughts on “Telling Myself to Breathe, Breathe, Breathe

  1. Take a shower or something then sit down and eat something that’s light, maybe fruit. After that make sure you’re comfortable and doing something that doesn’t require much work. Just relax yourself

  2. First off, never feel guilty for feeling bad. It’s the worst thing you can do as it makes you swallow all your anger.
    Anyway, if you wanna breathe, you have to get the pressure off your chest or at least relieve it. Do that but do it in a controlled way. Otherwise you might break down completely. You know that writing is a good way. It might freak you out to write it down and maybe it should. If you’re text are angry or sad or full of swearing then so be it. If you wanna throw them away, do it. It’s kind of a symbolic act. Anyway, when you’re finished you will feel calmer once your inner storm has ceased. It’ll take some time. If you’re alone you might even scream or just cry your heart out. Crying is no sign of weakness as some people say. It only shows that you cannot be strong for an infinite amount of time. And that’s, well, human. Whatever happened, get it out, let it out. Let in some fresh air, i.e. be sad and angry but don’t let these feelings steer where you’re going. Breathe, but make yourself some space first.

  3. Awe Elm 😦 I really wish I could say something right now that would actually be helpful, but honestly I’m not too good at that. So, despite this fact, I just want you to know that I feel for ya. It sucks. But don’t ever feel guilty about it, ever.

    • It’s okay – don’t be sorry. It was kinda my fault but I’m trying to not beat myself up about it. It’s VERY complicated and twisty and it isn’t even really his fault but I’m still so, so angry at him.

  4. slow down and take a breath!! You shouldn’t be sorry about making this blog you need to get your thoughts out somehow and if I am totally honest I love reading your blogs. Just take one step at a time!

    • Thank you so much πŸ™‚ You’re right. I just need to do simple things for now.
      I’m glad my posts aren’t TOO depressing. I always worry.

  5. Ahhhhh Elm
    I wish there was a rainbow for us all. Like a big whopping one and we could all sit under it for a little.

  6. Sometimes, getting over someone takes a lot. I think it’s because you can never stop yourself thinking of the good times and you miss them. I’ve found it a lot easier to do that after all the anger and frustration I have for that person dies down. It no longer becomes “I never wanna see your face again” to “Okay, I can bare seeing your face occasionally” (if that makes sense). It’s good that you have people you can talk to about it, having support makes it that much easier. Don’t beat yourself up about not being able to stop thinking about him -you loved him, that’s a big deal. I can’t really control your actions or anything but, yeah..
    You will feel better about it soon though (:

    • Thank you so so much πŸ™‚ You’re right – I shouldn’t be angry when I think about it. Your advice means so much to me; thank you again! πŸ™‚ I would write a really long reply to yours, but you’ve said it all.

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