My wrists feel bloody freezing and sort of… Floppy.
Er. That usually signifies a period of un-motivation.
When I say un-motivation, I mean: I don’t want to do homework. No – I mean, I physically can’t do homework. And that’s shit because, well, French, English, History… Too many. WAY too many.
I’m in that state between happiness and complete misery where I can feel the Ash memories below the surface but something’s stopping them from the things bombarding me with all that crap. I want to talk to Birch but then I just think, “What’s the point? There won’t be any substance to it.”
I want to write a story but again, I just think, “I can’t. I don’t… WANT to?”
It’s confusing. I don’t really know what I am right now. And yes, that sentence was purposeful.
I just feel really empty, which is odd because I had my music performance today which made me feel SO happy.
I’m so sorry – I can’t read blogs right now. I get panicked whenever I think about it. I WANT to, god I do, but I just feel really weird right now.
I’m not sad. Just so confused. I’m in the limbo area so anything could push me in either direction, towards happiness or complete… Shit.
I need to do something to prevent the latter option but to be honest, I just either don’t know what or can’t be bothered? Nah, that’s not it but I can’t place it.
I just feel so… Odd. I thought to myself today that I was so, so sick of everyone and I felt violently angry, and then my mood switched because music. I’m okay now. Just… Fuck’s sake, I don’t even know.
Later, I’m going to write a HAPPY post. About music. Yeah.
ARGH! I’m so lethargic, and apathetic towards just about everything. The HELL?!
I… Need cheering up. No, I need SOMETHING. Or someone. Or…