Because I’m tired of writing depressing posts that make me miserable, I’m going to write a happy post.

Y’know Birch?

I had history with him today. It was… IT WAS…

Alright I DON’T FLIRT! Wouldn’t know how. But a lot of laughing happened. And a lot of accidentally touching forearms. And a lot of smiles. And a lot of “OH MY GOD one week till we go to Ypres!” and a lot of jokes (anti-jokes) and…

And a lot of talking when walking down the stairs. Yeah – romantic, right? HA! Willow waited for me at the bottom and we walked out together, him in front and us behind and I was so fucking happy.

So I have a friend – um, need tree name help. Yew? Beech? Beech is too similar to Birch. Rowan? Already got a Rowan.

Oak. (Thank you, Wren). Anyway, some context: Oak and I have become quite close recently after we trusted each other with things, like I told him about Ash. And he “called it” as he ALWAYS reminds me – as in Birch and I – and when I told him I liked Birch he more or less imploded whilst screaming, “I CALLED IT! DIDN’T I!”

Oak said that Birch looks at me. A lot. When we talk, he looks at me very thoughtfully, as if he’s thinking about what he says. He looks at me as if he’s happy – when I was walking with Willow, he looked at me and smiled. Though, then again, we HAD just walked down the stairs together, talking and me cackling because he told me of a time when he got his shoe caught and nearly fell over.

And Oak thinks he might POSSIBLY, POSSIBLY, have SOME kind of romantic feelings for me.

And… Maybe he’s right? Just MAYBE? Sometimes, Birch acts so… Birch-like. Funny, relaxed around me, so happy it makes ME happy, and I need that. But sometimes he just seems… I don’t know. Like I mean nothing to him – that’s not right; I don’t know how to describe it.

I’m giddy. And confused. We’re going to Ypres in Belgium on a school trip, next Friday. Maybe something will happen then. Maybe I’ll MAKE something happen?

I’m nervous. It’s not like the last time I thought someone liked me, ages and ages ago. This time, I’m not SCARED.

This time, if things go wrong as they did before and I missread the signs, it won’t be as painful. I HOPE.

This time, I really think I can do this.