So, I won’t be posting anything tomorrow. I’m off to Somerset to go, well, camping – it’s a family friend’s 50th birthday, and I’m going to the party and we’ll camp out in the garden. The friends I’ve known since I was born, Rose and Poppy, are coming along.
Also, I’m about to create a page with the summary of who’s who, you know, so my readlings don’t get confused.
This is when the post delves into darker territory. Stop reading now if you don’t want to read about me insulting one of the members of my family.
My sister can’t go to this party, even though she wanted to.
Long story: our car is full with the additions of Rose and Poppy. The people that my sister – let’s call her Juniper because trees – was originally going to go with are going to Wales and then coming to the party later on.
We can’t leave Rose and Poppy on their own, because their parents are going travelling. Junie can look after herself WAY more – she’s 18.
Junie isn’t THAT upset, I know that, but I still felt awful. I won’t abandon Rose and Poppy.
But my mother freaked.
“Why should Rose and Poppy get to go when Junie can’t? Their parents should just get someone to look after them like they do the dog sometimes.”
WHAT! Like the DOG? Yeah, they COULD, but I want to pend time with my friends. Junie doesn’t have many people to talk to down in Somerset, and like dad said – she’d be in a grump for the majority of the time, probably.
It was after I’d finished work experience; we were sitting in a restaurant. I wanted to shout at her. ‘Don’t talk about my family like that!’ I wanted to scream. Because Rose and Poppy are my family just as Junie, my mum and my dad are. I love them both so much and they are my sisters in all but blood, and they know me so well and we have SO many memories.
“It’s unfair,” she said. “Their family only look after themselves and don’t care about other people.” She said this in such a poisonous way that I started to hate her, just a little.
“What? That’s not true! The mother, maybe, but NEVER the father!” I’ve known them all my life. When I was younger, their house was my second home.
But THIS was what really made me angry, so that I couldn’t even speak. She didn’t notice, of course.
“Your dad should spend more quality time with Junie. Now that your STEPMOTHER’s back, I mean.”
I laughed. “Hmm,” I muttered.
Right. My dad should spend QUALITY TIME WITH JUNIE. Does she even KNOW what spending quality time with Junie means? No, and YOU KNOW WHY?!
Because she NEVER did!
I know EXACTLY why Junie never comes to mum’s, and I don’t blame her. I HATE it when mum talks about my dad like this, saying that he should go on holiday with us more often.
And the quality time bit. SERIOUSLY?! Junie lives at dad’s. They have their arguments, but they spend more quality time with each other than SHE’LL ever spend with Junie! REALLY?
I can’t go into too much detail. If my family found this, they’d kill me. But I WANT to. I want to tell you why Junie never comes to mum’s any more. I don’t NEED to – I’ve told too many people already – but only Junie and I know the true story.
But I can’t. It’s awful, because I will NOT expose Junie like that again. When I told people, I was either having a breakdown over it, or I just felt so upset that I couldn’t think. I DO regret telling some people. But to be honest, the situation has scarred me much more than Junie, or my mum, will ever realise. (This is why I can’t show them this blog).
I get so angry. My mother should never talk about MY family like that. I love dad and Junie with all my heart, and I’m even developing a fondness for my Stepmother. Rose and Poppy know me through and through and I love them.
Bullshit. The only ‘quality time’ she EVER spent with Junie was when we were younger. Oh yeah, they probably spend ‘quality time’ with each other now, but that’s NOT the point.
She insulted my best friends, and my family, and basically said that we should just abandon Rose and Poppy. Like she’d ALWAYS been there for Junie and I. For me, maybe, but Junie? Nah. Don’t bullshit me like that, mother.
I don’t know how to fully express the anger I felt. It’s difficult without explaining anything and breaching Junie’s privacy. Junie hates talking about the stuff that happens and I’m supposed to have let it go.
Before I say anything too bad, I need to say this:
I should appreciate my mother, but I can’t when she never appreciates my family.
That post didn’t come out in the way I wanted it to, but there you go. I hope you can garner, from that, a little of how truly furious I am.
Sorry. Just needed to let it out.
From Elm 🙂