I hope this can be somewhat relatable to… Someone. It’s not a sad post, because I’m not sad right now. It’s a thought, or a series of thoughts, or a network of thoughts.
Do you sometimes just want someone?
It doesn’t have to be someone you’re in love with, but we’ll go with that for now. You want someone to be at your back. You want someone to love you for who YOU are, not who they want you to be. You want someone who UNDERSTANDS you on a fundamental level, someone you don’t feel suffocated with. Someone who can make you laugh, who you get a happy feeling when you’re around them, and who you NEED. You want that connection with someone that you can NEVER have.
Do you sometimes just want to hang in the moment?
It’s breathing, I think. Letting the air whoosh in and out of your lungs, and knowing – just KNOWING – someone’s there for you? It’s perhaps a presence you can feel, but you can feel the comfortable weight of knowing just pressing in on you. It’s quiet in your mind. It’s not painful.
Do you sometimes just want that assurance?
You don’t want pain any more. You don’t want to work at finding the ‘perfect’ someone. You just wish the ‘perfect’ someone would find YOU.
Do you sometimes just think you haven’t found anything yet?
It’s a scary feeling. You WANT to find things. You WANT to know what’s going to happen, but you don’t.
Do you sometimes just need to talk to someone?
You’re not upset, but you need to hear someone’s voice. ANYONE’s. You want to talk about anything, to revel in something so simple as a conversation.
Do you sometimes just question who you are?
It happens all the time. It’s not wrong. In fact, it’s better for YOU.
Do you sometimes just compare how you feel to someone else?
I do that every single day. I did that today. It wasn’t bad for me – I just thought, “Is the love I had or have for Ash as deep as the love this person holds for this person?” That’s what it is. It’s not undermining your feelings; it’s just comparing them.
Whatever you do, think of these questions. Think of these questions and ask yourself – “Do I?”
In fact, answer me that. In the comments, or if you know me personally.
I want you to realise that if you say “yes” to those questions, it’s not a bad thing. You’re evaluating what kind of person you are, and that can NEVER be a bad thing.
I’m just in a strange mood right now, where I want something but I have NO idea what it is.