OKAY. What is this even-

Right. I’m in France as a lot of you know.

I think I’ve mentioned him before, but there was a guy we knew last year that has come to this place, at this time – completely by coincidence. I call him the Farmer.

And yeah. I had a “thing” for him, because I thought that after everything that happened with Birch, I’d live a little.

Don’t get me wrong: Farmer’s great. Funny, etc, and he makes blind jokes (ALWAYS a bonus). But… Well, I got outdone by a girl from… Somewhere.

And I realised – well, I’m bothered, but I’m not THAT bothered. It’s okay, because he’s a bit of a… Flirt, anyway, and it was only a little feeling I have.



“No, you’re not doing this to me.”
“But all of the boys-”
“No, don’t do that JUST because none of the boys are availible or whatever! That’s not how it works!”
“But she’s nice.”
“Yeah, but do you like her because she’s THERE?”
“No no, she’s, um, nice and stuff and I held her hand earlier when she helped me stand up after we all went to the beach and I kept on holding it and-”
“Ugh, you’re HOPELESS!”
“But are we agreed that she’s really nice and that she probably doesn’t even like girls?”
“FINE! But I still say that you’re creating feelings out of nowhere.”
“Ohhh, bugger off.”

I… I’m screwed.

Let’s call the girl Cassia. She’s 16, from Wales, has a sister of the same name as me… I don’t know! HELP!

I’m attracted to her. WHY? WHY! WHY am I attracted to her?

She’s lovely, though. But like I said in my mind-conversation, do I like her because she’s there or because she’s HER?



Okay. I’m going to a foam party later (don’t know what it is) and she’ll be there (along with about a hundred other people). But we’ve arranged to meet (me, her, a girl from Scotland and the friend I’m in france with) at half nine (in 1 and a half hours).


From Elm

15 thoughts on “NO NOT AGAIN!

  1. A foam party is basically a room full of teenagers and foam and second, just talk more and then see how much you match because you might be making it out of nowhere so just roll with it and see where it goes

  2. I’m one of those people who finds themselves randomly attracted to people I personally wouldn’t expect. I used to live across my country as a baby, and my family and my almost-boyfriend’s families were friends, and they’re quite the eccentric bunch. And we both somehow ended up where I live and I fell for that weirdo. I think you should just take it and see how it goes. If the feelings remain, well.. I haven’t even gotten that far to tell you what to do next. You’ll know when you get there though πŸ™‚ Good luck on your journey!

  3. Ah, man, that’s complicated. Okay well I’d say get to know her a little better maybe? It takes a while to know whether your feelings for someone are real or just made of thin air. Have fun at the foam party though xD

  4. If you find her attractive/are attracted to her (sexually of course) then just roll with it, don’t fight it. I mean being bi just doubles your options, which is awesome!

    I hope this doesn’t come across as mean or anything, just trying to help πŸ™‚

  5. I always have that problem! I always second guess myself wondering if I like the guy just because he is there and/or because I may actually have a shot with him! I just try to take myself out of the situation for a bit and as myself questions like “how good would I feel if he kissed me?” or “would I actually be hurt if he did something to hurt me?” and things like that! I hope that helps?

  6. Try to get to know her more before you let your feelings escalate, I think. Hope you enjoy the foam party (whatever that is) πŸ™‚

  7. I totally get how you feel, as whenever i try to move on from someone i end up just falling for somebody else but I think it’s all about how they make you feel. Do you get butterflies and always want to be near them? etc. Just go with it and see where it takes you. I hope that kinda helped.

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