I don’t really know how to write this post, mainly because what I’m trying to say is all scrambled up in my head.
I’m reading Girl Online. It’s a great book – I love the storyline – but…
Alright. When the topic of her blog comes up, I get jealous. It’s wrong, I know, and unreasonable, but I can’t help it.
The fictional character has over 5000 followers. I’ve got 430. 430, for me, is a massive number – it far exceeds what I THOUGHT I’d get – and I’m so grateful.
But when I read the posts she’s written, I feel… Weird. Like I’m not good enough.
She writes so well. I know I don’t. But she’s so similar to me, and it’s so confusing.
Is that okay?
Sometimes I feel, about this blog, that I’m not good enough: not engaging enough, not nice enough, that I don’t involve you guys enough, that… You know? These thoughts just pile on.
I was talking to Aiden about this – I think yesterday and the day before – and it helped a lot, but still I just feel inadequate. (I found the right word!)
So I want to know the truth:
What do you think when you read my posts? How do you FEEL? What do you think about me, as a blogger – as a person?
Everyone has been so supportive, with EVERYTHING – my love life, my problems, the things I’ve been through – that it’s overwhelming.
I don’t want people to be scared of me because of my follower count, or to look down on me because I had less followers. The follower count is just a number, after all, and EVERY single post is as valid as any other, and that goes for every single blog, too.
When I read your posts, I feel happy, or worried, or I give advice because that’s only fair.
I just STILL feel inadequate, like something’s missing.
Thanks for reading!
From Elm 🙂
Just Call Me Elm or Something 
I think what you’re missing at the minute is your own love for you blog. And I don’t mean that in a way that sounds like you hate what you’re doing, because you do, I mean it in the way that you’re looking at it as a negative and thinking ‘what do i need to fix’ when really, there’s nothing to fix. 400+ followers, clearly you’re doing something right
You know what – you’re right. You’re absolutely right and I need to remember that.
Elm ur blog is the only one I read consistently. It really gets me to feel your life so thanks for that. 💖💕
Thank you for being nice and for being an all-around great person 🙂 Thank you for saying that; it makes me so happy.
Hey, I think I know what it is you’re not gripping tightly enough! Confidence! And optimism! Personally, I find your posts very realistic and when I read them and comment, I feel like I’m actually talking to you (which, I think, is how it’s ought to be). I am genuinely sad for you when you’re going through a tough time, and genuinely happy when you’re getting a few good days (I think you might’ve deduced that bit from my fangirling about Paris, lol 😛 ). I think you’re going great already, just keep going that way, okay? That is the most important thing. 🙂
Hugs! ❤
OMG thank you! I’m so so glad you feel that way about my posts 🙂 You’re the best 🙂 That cheered me up like hell. Ohhh, fangirling over Paris! ‘Tis beautiful.
If that cheered you up like hell, then my job is done! 😉
No, Elm. You can’t compare yourself to Girl Online, because I’m not going to let you. It is a FICTIONAL blog, and most importantly, it has been written and edited and re-edited over and over again until it’s absolutely perfect. Remember that Zoella had the pressure of a publishing company which meant that everything HAD TO BE PERFECT. You are a lot more approachable, a skilled wordsmith, and most importantly, you actually exist in real life! 430 followers is incredible, and I know you’re going to gain more in the future. You just need to remember to have the confidence in yourself and your abilities. Those 430 people love your writing, and you should never ever get yourself down about the fact that you don’t have a million followers. No two blogs can ever be compared to one another, because everyone is different. And different is special. 🙂
P.S. If it makes you feel better the character of Penny in Girl Online only reached that number of followers after blogging for a year. So don’t worry. You’ll get there.
I adore you right now. That cheered me up so, so much. You know what – your comments mean the world to me. Just the way you pick me up after I feel like crap – thank you. You HAVE to be right, and I’m convincing myself you are. I guess what I CAN say about myself is that I’m GENUINE.
I’m glad you read it! I don’t know if you remember, but I recommended this book to you in the comments section of a blog post a looong time ago! It reminded me of you 🙂
I do remember 🙂 Just wondering – how does it remind you of me?
You both write about instances in your life that manage to amuse, educate, and support your readers. You both are funny, great writers that let teens everywhere know that they are not alone. Both of your blogs are refreshing, intriguing, and perfectly capture teenage life. That’s why it reminds me of you 🙂
Oh god, thank you so much. That actually means SO much to me 🙂
You’re welcome! You deserve it 🙂
Who cares about followers? You’re such a fantastic person, feeling happy or sad with us, giving advice… we treasure you 🙂
That means so much, thank you! 🙂 That comment honestly made my day. You’re so so nice and lovely 🙂
I love your blog posts! And it was hard for me reading her posts too, since I had already started another blog, but when you think of it, that is the point of the book. She wrote the posts, edited them herself, then had her editor edit them so that they were the “perfect” blog posts. She has also been blogging for years and years, and because of her skill and platform, she was approached by penguin to write the book. Of course her blog posts were amazingly well written in the book, they had to be for the book to be be given the “OKAY” for publication! Don’t feel bad! I love your posts!
Thank you so much – that means a lot 🙂 I just worry, you know?
Yeah I do know, All the time! but dont worry!
I got 42 follows so sit down :’)
xD You should have more.
I think its a cool couincidence you have 10 times the amount of followers that I have. But your complaining for a reason 🙂
xD Remember: the follower count DOESN’T MATTER! It is just a number! (Motivational speech over)
Elm, there’s nothing wrong with your blog! It’s personal, it’s YOURS. You get to decide what to do with it. And 400 followers is an impressive achievement, so you’re doing just fine! 🙂
Thank you so, so much! 🙂 It’s just difficult to NOT think I’m doing something wrong.
Ugh, I feel that way as well, with my measly count of some 60 followers. But your blog is extremely fun and relatable, and your words have a way of impacting me more than most. Do NOT stop blogging—you have a talent, I promise ❤
I fricking love you right now. I don’t EVER plan on stopping blogging, at least not ANY time soon. And it’s not measly. Your blog is honestly so great. Also, thank you for saying those things about my blog 🙂 It makes me feel so happy.
Awww! *blows kiss* Thank you as well! And I MEAN it, Elm. You da BEST! 😀
Elm. Elm. Elm what the calculus are you talking about?! You’re such a down-to-earth relatable blogger. Like, I know you’re a real person with real feelings and it feels like when you talk to you, you don’t talk at us but to us. It’s amazing. Don’t compare yourself to that character, friend! I read the book a while back – can’t remember much – but let’s not dwell on that. Let’s remember what a gem (yup) you are 🙂
I’ll be realistic here. When I got into blogging I wasn’t hyped up about numbers; I was intrigued. It made no sense. But then the bigger picture filtered in; a community. I think having a community is what’s best; not the number in it. Hell, my number’s not big in WordPress land but it’s irrelevant. Just getting to know people. Lives are wonderfully interesting. That is the essence.
I. LOVE. YOU. Also, great pun there xD But seriously – you’re right. It’s US that matters. It’s how we are interlinked and who we are and what we say that MATTERS, not the numbers. And I’m glad I’ve made so many friends (including you, of COURSE) because I need this. WE need the sense of community.
Elm, a blogger is a blogger no matter how small!
(sometimes Dr. Seuss can be comforting)
But I totally understand your feeling! It’s perfectly normal to feel that way. I enjoy your blog though. You’re funny and relatable and it’s nice for me to read about other people’s lives when mine gets too bland. You’re not doing anything wrong at all, I promise!!
Thank you so much, Hannah. I’d say the same about your blog, because I really love it 🙂
I just find your blog and it’s really appealing for reading. I like stories about people life and thoughts, so keet on going 🙂
Thank you so so much! 🙂
Hey there! I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award! Feel free to ignore if you’ve already participated! http://secrethandbook4teens.com/2015/07/29/sunshine-blogger-award/
Aww thank you! Unfortunately I’m in France right now, but I’m going to be accepting awards when I get back! 🙂
Elm..400 followers is a whole bloody lot! Plus, your blog touches so many people each day. YOU make someones day better, that’s what matters. Not the number of followers you have. And remember Girl Online is a FICTIONAL character. But you actually exist, and your blog is amazeballs!:D
THANK YOU! You’re bloody amazing 🙂 I gotta remember that I’M real.
This is not to say that your blog sucks in anyway (it’s amazing, almost as amazing as you are) but 1) I can only dream of bloody four hundred followers! 2) Who cares if anyone can write better than you, this is your blog, and people enjoy it, trust me. 3) Screw what everyone else thinks, this blog is for you. It’s your outlet, so post whatever you want. It’s yours Elm.
Elm dear your blog is amazing. Your one of the kindest people on this site and you always support other people on the site. You just need to learn to believe in yourself and your blog because both are amazing! Now I bid you goodbye!
Haha, thank you Tiegan! 🙂
I have read that book a million times and it is one of my all time favorites! Anyways I feel exactly like you feel!
You are amazing and so is your blog remember that! 🙂
Thank you so much! IM glad I’m not the only one feeling this 🙂
🙂
Elm you don’t have to feel that way! You have a great blog and you’re a great person! ❤
Thank you so so much! I’d say the same about you! 🙂
Thank you too 🙂
I feel you! I hate it when I’m always jealous of some stupid fictional character. I always feel like I come up short compared to everyone else, fictional or real. I’m relived to know I’m not the only one 🙂
Course you’re not! It’s a relief to know you do the same thing! 🙂
We all just want to feel accepted I guess
Iv just read some of your blogs and they are all really good!☺️ you have nothing to worry about your a great blogger!💗
Thank you so much! 🙂
I love all your blogs! You have nothing to worry about. Your a great writer!💗
THANK YOU! 🙂
If there’s one thing you are not, my friend, it is inadequate. I love reading your posts, you’ve always got a really nice balance of humor and reality that can be related to easily. I think it’s easy to get discouraged when you compare yourself too much to other people. I mean, you aren’t the same, so how can you accurately say who is better or worse? But, there is one thing I can 100% accurately say. And that is that you are indeed the best.
Sam. Thank you SO much. Nearly made me cry. I WISH I could come up with an appropriate response to that wonderful, wonderful comment, but all I can say is thank you and that you are wonderful and you’ve been with me from the start.
Ah I love that book but girl don’t compare yourself to a fictional character. Your blog is unique and amazing in its own way.
YES YES YAAAS!!