Guys, I have a boyfriend.
GUYS. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
Guys. I. HAVE. A. BOYFRIEND.
I think you get the picture. I have some, er, explaining to do. Yeah… You might judge me for it, but oh well!
It was last week on Wednesday. I play these game things, which are basically fantasy and you fight things (but it’s text-based). I’ll probably get called a nerd/sad person but heh. So I met this guy on there when he asked if I wanted any help. Me, being paranoid, said yes – we talked for a while, but then I asked him my age before he asked mine so that I knew he wasn’t lying. He said he was 15 – baring in mind I hadn’t said my age, and the majority of people on there were 20-30 which is why I didn’t talk to them. I found out he’s also blind and that he lives about an hour away from me.
So on Friday, the day I came back from France, I skyped him. Yeah, I know – it’s quick – but I needed to check he wasn’t a paedophile and luckily, he isn’t. I also know he exists because one of my friends has heard of him, and I DO trust that friend.
But, BLOODY HELL. We talk so easily, about anything, and errrr, there was some flirting but… Hahaha… ANYWAY!
We talked about space one day, and how we’ve evolved over the years, and how phones were different back in the 80s – that sort of thing. And he’s talked about his exes and I’ve talked about mine, so we knew how we were paranoid.
I told my dad yesterday about the friendship I had with him and he seemed okay with it. My mum would FLIP though.
Before he asked me out, he called me beautiful and those sorts of things, and he’s just really nice.
But yesterday, he asked me out – I guess we’d been in the in-between stages of a friendship and a relationship, and we both couldn’t deal with it. I freaked a little, and needed to breathe, and went away to think.
I had questions running through my head: What if it’s too soon? What if I’m making a mistake? What if I screw it up? What if what if what if… What if I get judged?
I need to now say a massive thank you to those bloggers on the Kik chat for supporting me, and helping me, and being so lovely. Guys, I couldn’t have asked for better friends. You are so wonderful.
After my freakout, I skyped him again, and we had possibly the longest and most in-depth conversation about how we felt. We warned each other of how we might act sometimes – he sometimes flips out at ANYTHING, and I sometimes get so insecure that I need reassurance.
We talked about our worries, and what we were scared of.
It was so amazing to talk to him about it, because we were laying bare what each other NEEDED to know.
Later on, I may find out things about him, but I don’t care. I’m going to see where this takes me.
I’m going to update my status on Facebook after I get back from blind camp, because if my mum questions where I met him and I’m not brave enough, I can always say there. He and I have arranged to meet up before the summer ends – that was something I was adamant about, and he agreed with me.
I know this will probably come as a shock to loads of you, and I’m sorry for not posting about this sooner, but I wanted to sort things out in my mind. You’ve all supported me through my various heartbreaks and breakdowns over the last 4 months, so thank you SO much for that. From Ash to Cedar to Birch to Hazel to Cassia – you’ve always been there.
Keep being yourselves!
From Elm 🙂
PS: I need a tree name. Somebody help?