What’s Going to Change?

Let’s jump back a year, shall we, when I knew none of you and I didn’t have this blog?

Alright. So, I was 14, and I was going into year 10.

I had a huge crush on Ash – it would turn into love 2 months later. Just THINK about that. I hadn’t experienced ANY of the pain that had come along with it.

I was still hurt over Rowan rejecting me 5 months ago – not angry, just a little sad.

And then, over the next year, things went to shit – and they also improved. Let’s see what happened:

I fell in love with Ash

I gained a best friend, then lost him

I went through too much pain

I became Gemma, then deleted that blog

I started this blog

I got rejected

I became good friends with Red

A friend left our group

I had a two-week long relationship

And you basically know the rest.

Can you see why I’m scared of going to school tomorrow?

I know, over the next 3 months, something bad will happen. Something REALLY bad, because it always does.

I’m just very worried.

A year ago, I hadn’t ever fallen in love. I hadn’t known what it was like to truly appreciate people and that scares me.

My older readers will understand what I mean when I say that from now on, my posts might not be as cheerful. I don’t really know; it depends what happens. For the newer readers – have a look at some of my REALLY old posts to get a feel of what I mean.

I’m going to try and be happy, but this year will be difficult. There will be Ash reminders EVERYWHERE, and on certain days, I doubt I’ll be able to talk to anyone. I’m sorry.

Bare with me through everything, guys. I’m still always going to be here for you. I just wanted to warn you that things might not be so great over the coming months. Stick with me, though?

You’re all great. Stay you, and stay strong.

From Elm πŸ™‚

PS: My first short story on my writing blog is up! πŸ™‚

42 thoughts on “What’s Going to Change?

  1. We’ll always stick with you Elm. I also think about how much has changed in just a year but it seems like you’ve been through way more. Hold your head high its going to be alright. And its alright if your not feeling the same you’ll always be you.

  2. Elm, eeeeelm, EEELM!! It`s all about YOU. It`s all about YOUR MIND and how you decide to look at something. If you`re going to be worried and negative, nothing good is going to happen in your opinion. So go to school, be positive and who cares about Ash? Okay, you do, but you know what I mean, haha! Don`t let him change your mood, don`t let him affect you that much. You have to get up and try, try, try. YOU have to do something. YOU are responsible for making this new year good as possible. πŸ™‚

    Not Ash or any of your other classmates. GOOD LUCK!! Remember, I`m here anytime. I know how it is.

  3. Good luck for school. We’ll always be here for you so remember that if you’re having a bad day. School’s gonna be hard for me too, but I know that I now have this blog and wonderful people like you waiting for me after school. So I hope tomorrow goes well. Stay strong. Love, Em x

  4. Just because negative things happened last year, does NOT mean they will happen this year. You need to get that in to your mind, ok? Ok. This year could have many wonderful things in store for you, but if you continue to think that something bad is going to happen every time you do or think something, you’re going to miss out on the good fun. And do you really need to tell us to stick with ya? We’re always here, don’t forget xx

    Anyways, good luck for school tomorrow, hope the day goes well:)

  5. My mom always says “If you convince yourself that this will be a bad year, it will be a bad year. If you say to yourself that this is going to be a great year, YOU will make it a great year.” Not every year has to be like the last one, but of course there will be ups and downs. Good luck! ❀ (that was supposed to be a heart…)

  6. Good luck for tomorrow :3 I’m starting year eleven too so we can suffer/celebrate together tomorrow :/ πŸ˜‰ I’m always here when you need me as is everyone else on this lovely blog community! The past shouldn’t affect what happens now, put it behind you :3 Stay positive tomorrow and stay motivated, it’ll be great!!! Xx

  7. Don’t worry elm! There is always the chance that this year will be that little bit better, you only have to get through your exams, focus on the good things and the bad won’t be as bad 😊

  8. Count on me! I know what you’re going through–especially about the reminders. I think it’s impossible to ever completely let things go. This is a new year, and things will change–maybe even for the better. I can’t wait to see how your story turns out πŸ™‚

  9. Don’t worry I will always read you blog and love your posts either way. A year is a lot and we’re all here for you through thick and thin. That’s what WordPress is for. πŸ’–πŸ’–

    • I totally agree – thank you so much! You’ve always been here for me and I think you’re brilliant πŸ™‚ Stay strong yourself.

  10. I will always stick with you! I know going back to school is hard, it is giving me that panicky feeling just thinking about it, but hopefully nothing will happen! Maybe this year will be a good year for you, a year to get over everything. And if anything goes wrong, and I mean even if it is just that your lunch is gross, feel free to email me at any time and I will answer! I will be more than happy to listen (read) to your rants or you venting about ANYTHING if you need it! I know how horrible it is getting flashbacks and how hard it is to get over someone when there are reminders everywhere so I am always here to help!

    • You’re such a lovely person, you know that? Thank you so much; I’ll definitely take you up on the offer of emails πŸ™‚ You’re great, and you’re such a good friend.

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