So, whilst I was at a festival – the Mela festival because I’m that precise – I realised it was exactly 2 years to the day since Maple, my second boyfriend, broke up with me. (His name’s not Maple, but trees).
Some context: Maple was the best friend of Pine, who’s one of my best friends; we’d known each other for two and a half years before we went out. We went to the Isle of Wight on a school residential and on the day before we went home, he asked me out. I said yes the next day. We went out for… Wait, 19 July to 6 September, so about a month and a half.
He broke up with me because he was gay, on the first day of school. I had no issue with that at the time – well I DID, but not because he was gay; I was just upset because I liked him. The thing that made me the most angry was the fact that he left our group straight after – abandoned us – and Pine, after 10 years of friendship. I understand why now, but at the time, I didn’t and it more or less fucked me up.
He and I are friends now – after about 7 months I grew up and, though we had arguments, I apologised and hoped he would forgive me, which he did. I was a right bitch.
I’m just shocked it’s been 2 years. I’ve grown so much since then.
At the time, I thought I’d never be able to get over him. I DID, though. This happened again with Ash, where I thought I could never move on. I still haven’t moved on totally, to tell you the truth, but I’m getting there.
The point is, I’m shocked at how much I’ve grown as a person.
I think it was Maple leaving our friendship group that really started my abandonment issues. As in, they’re rather bad: Ash would know, and so would Odd and Pine and Wren. And, er, Willow, but Ash would know the most.
And that’s why, right now, I’m being totally fucked up by the recent departure of a friend from the group. Argh. Let’s not get into that.
It’s a weird day for me. I look back and get Ash memories left, right and centre, but also memories from other people. It’s not TOO bad; I’ll definitely cope.
How have any of you grown, as people?
From Elm 🙂