I thought I’d post at a VERY rare time for me, in which my thoughts grow strange – because it’s late.
Well, it’s 11 o’clock at night, but that’s the time when my thoughts start to grow heavier and I hang in between being content and sad. Does that make sense?
A year ago, to this day, I would be messaging Ash. I KNOW that, and I also know that the fact that I know that means that it reflects on my thoughts now. I still, subconsciously, associate this time with how I felt for Ash – the snatched thoughts in the dark that make ME who I am. REALLY, I’m not making sense, but I rarely do at this time.
So, imagine you’re hanging in the void, but you know you won’t fall. There’s nothing but empty space around you, and you’re in the eye of the storm: one movement could make you go either way, towards being safe and happy or ripped apart and sad. But for now, you’re feeling okay – not happy, not sad, but OKAY – and you’re fine to remain like that until the storm subsides. The next day, you’ll forget the feeling of hanging in the storm until it happens again.
Hmm… I’m getting thoughtful. It’s weird to see how my thought processes pan out. I have too much to do for tomorrow which I haven’t done, but I’m in the state where I honestly don’t care.
When it’s dark and late and your eyes feel weary, it all starts to feel more real. You process things, but not as well; it helps, I think.
Do you feel like this sometimes, too? Like you’re hanging in a void and you COULD fall, but you doubt you will? When you’re by yourself, tapping out words on a screen, does your heart feel something and do you feel alright – is it just me?
Sorry for these rambles. Usually, I’m either messaging friends or trying to get to sleep on most days, but I thought you should get to know me a little better through this.
From Elm 🙂