Who’s Most Likely To…?

I’m in year 11 and at the end of this year, we get a yearbook. In that yearbook, we’ve got a list of who’s most likely to do things – be a model, be a dictator, have the nicest personality, that sort of thing.

We filled out our sheets for the nominations today, and it made me realise how much I don’t know my year, and how little I talk to people.

As in, seriously. I couldn’t think of anyone for some of the things, and there are 300 people in our year. Here are the ones I struggled with.

Friends with everyone
Banter king/queen
Cutest couple
Best friends forever

It’s really, really sad. I don’t know the people in the year apart from my friends. I mean, recently, I’ve started to branch out a bit more, but if you ask me who’s well liked in our year, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I don’t get that camaraderie with the people in the yeargroup – I wish I did, because everyone else seems to. But well, I just don’t.

I can laugh at a joke someone says, but not be the one telling it. I’m not popular at all – and I don’t care, really I don’t. It’s better for me that way. Our friendship group’s closed off, if you think about it; we don’t mix with other people. Usually, that’s fine.

But I’m sad. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities to talk to some great people – in class today, people were throwing around names and I just thought, “God, I’ve never spoken to these people.” I felt overwhelmed and confused, because EVERYONE seemed to know a common answer and I was sat there thinking that I had no idea. And the ones I DID say, the person helping me to fill out the sheet thought were weird, when I understood them.

Really, I shouldn’t complain. People like Birch and Cedar and Cedar’s best friend know me for how I actually am – or close enough. I can think of people who I don’t hang out with in the playground, but who have spoken to me and don’t think I’m some reclusive moron. People who have spoken to me that are outside my friendship group, who I speak to, are the ones that I get confused about. I judged so many people in the past and that’s REALLY bad.

Again, I’m just a little upset. I wish I’d got to know my year more. I wish I’d spoken to people more – I spoke to this girl on the stairs earlier, randomly, but it wasn’t comfortable. I’m being more open, and I KNOW it’s not too late to make more friends or just make an active effort to be nice, but part of me thinks “What’s the point?”

I’m staying on for sixth form, but loads of people aren’t. And I don’t want to be the one set in her ways and I WANT to talk to more people. I wish I knew how, because I’m awkward and unindependent as fuck and I WISH I wasn’t, because then I could walk the halls freely and just walk around talking to people if that’s what I WANTED. Technically, nothing’s stopping me now, but I have no idea what people think of me on the OUTSIDE because I can’t see their faces, and they know that.

Wishing and wanting gets me nowhere. I SHOULD do something, but I don’t know what. I feel like it’s too late, like if I make an effort now, I’ll just get laughed at because social groups have already been established.

It’s sad. It shouldn’t be, but it is. It’s not that I’m excluded – I just don’t really make an effort to INCLUDE myself in the year’s happenings. I don’t even know who’s in a relationship within the year, or what happened at that party on Saturday I don’t go to – Birch said it was partly good and partly bad and he was acting nice and talking to me normally, not like I was some antisocial idiot, which was good. Even though he’s changed a LOT, but no matter. Making friends with him in year 10 – friends? Are we even friends; I don’t know? – showed me I COULD branch out and talk to people, even if our friendship was circumstancial as we sit next to each other in history.

For you guys, it’s not too late. Talk to someone you wouldn’t ordinarily chat to. It’s scary as hell, but give it a go. Don’t act like I do; I see my year as separated when everyone else sees it as interconnected. Does that make sense? WELL, some people see it as separated, but I feel like I’m the minority. ARGH, I’m rambling.

I hope this has made you think a little bit, because I’ve thought whilst writing. I STILL feel rather sad and EVEN a bit ashamed, which is RIDICULOUS. What’s done is done and all I can do now is just be nice to as many people as possible.

From Elm πŸ™‚

35 thoughts on “Who’s Most Likely To…?

  1. It is not too late for you either! Promise! I’m one of those people who is friends with most people as well as having my own kind of group- it’s great.

  2. This HAS made me think a lot. I’m so comfortable in my little friendship group at school and considering my anxiety at the moment, I think I’d quite like it to stay that way. I know I don’t speak to many people, but I love the friends and teachers who I talk to on a daily basis, do you get me?

    • I totally understand that. It’s a routine and familiar and sometimes we NEED that, especially if you have anxiety πŸ™‚ But I’m glad it made you think.

  3. I can really relate to this and know exactly what you mean! There are some people in my year who I have never spoken to, and it’s sad that I might have been in the same year as them for 5 years and never spoken to them!
    When you do go to 6th form, you can use this as an opportunity to make new friends and spread your current friendship group out. Personally, this is one of the things I am most looking forward to about it πŸ™‚

    • Yeah, me too. I think it’s going to be better, because it’ll be smaller and you can actually get to know other people. Thank you SO much for commenting πŸ™‚

  4. Don’t feel bad for not speaking to a lot of people in your year Elm, you may think there’s no point of making the effort now but you might as well make the time you have left with them count. Have confidence in yourself and don’t be worried about what people may think about you which might put you off speaking to them because you’re an amazing person and I’m sure many of the bloggers here would agree with me. As the people who said above, take the opportunity in sixth form to socialise with different people. You never know, you might meet someone who’s as great as you are haha xD

  5. I was voted most likely to be a millionaire.. I mean, I don’t know why but I’m down.. Also, I feel this post. It’s so strange that I could’ve gone to school every day for the past twelve years with virtually the same people, and yet I still don’t know so many of them….

  6. you realize things like this, usually when it’s the last year and you might never see the people in your year again. I have talked to pretty much a lot of people in my class and but I’m not really “close” to all of them. But i would want to be. Cause you never know who you’re gonna click with. But when you’ve got less than a year left together, what’s the point? can you get to know them ? and there are so many !! that’s the thing. i guess this is why people tend to have small circles.

  7. I find it really hard with my friends at school as i am VERY different from everyone else, not just politically but also religiously and the way i think.
    My best tip is try to find common ground with people, ask if you can sit with them at lunch or offer help if they need something e.g. a pencil in exam week!

  8. We are filling ours out this week too! Crazy world haha but anyway, I struggled with picking people because there are the more “popular” group that are more known and I couldn’t think of peoples names that were more quiet and shy. So, they were people from the same friend group and it was just sad. I wanted to make it fair but it was just so hard! And there were 22 categories and only one person could win one category which made it 10 times harder. Ack! Crazy school traditions!

  9. Almost as if I could have uttered the very same words. I feel completely disconnected from my year group. There’s 70 of us, yet I probably know the names of half the people in the group. I came to the school at this beginning of this school year, and I feel it’s fair to say I don’t have any friends there. The only people I really know are my ex-girlfriend and a guy I knew a few years back ago, but now we are really different people and have nothing to talk about. I oce had to pick a team in PE, and it was so awkward because I didn’t know anybody’s names. As for advice, well I am possibly the worse person to give any when it comes to socializing (Eliot on the other hand…) πŸ˜€ Anyway I wish you more luck than I have, make the best of the friends you have and don’t be afraid of new people (They don’t bit, generally)

    • Let’s HOPE they don’t! πŸ˜€ Thank you though – your advice IS good, especially when I realise I’m not the only one to feel like this.

  10. It’s never too late! I think it’s pretty common for us to just stick to a few people and then suddenly realise maybe that hasn’t been the best of ideas. I realised that a couple of years ago, right on the year I moved schools. It was daunting because while I wanted to make friends I wanted to make more than just a couple. So I started with my close friends, built those up and then I was confident enough to talk to others. Just talk to them, smile at them laugh with them and you’ll find that it’s not that bad. Also can I just say that I don’t know if my school does the voting thing but it sounds fun

  11. I talked to so many new people and made so many new friends when I was in my final year of school! Lots of people do, actually. πŸ™‚ (And like, I haven’t spoken to any of them since leaving, but I still don’t regret making that effort to branch out my social circle.)

  12. Wow!! This is literally a wake up call for me.. I’m the Queen of anti-socialism, something I’m not proud of, every year “make friends” is on my resolution list but i don’t do it, it’s hard and scary but Elm we can do it… Getting out of the comfort zone shouldn’t be thaaaaat hard, right? – I hope 😦

  13. This is probably one of the MOST relatable posts of yours. At least, to me. The scenes you described here? Yeah, they just hit home so hard. I really want to make you feel better, but I don’t know what I can say , because I know it all too well. But sometimes, knowing you’re not all alone does help, doesn’t it?

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