I WASN’T Going to Freak Out, but then THIS HAPPENED

Sigh. Oh, Elm.

Alright no. I think I need a break. I sort of just half-cried but didn’t have a psychotic breakdown.

3 days ago, I revised chemistry. I did a mini test on it today to practice the things I revised, and I fucked up. I thought I understood it, but for some reason, I Forgot IT and now don’t get it any more. Oh my god.

I feel sick, not least because my hormones are all over the place; let’s not even get into that because it will make any males reading this feel REALLY uncomfortable.

I’m really, really angry. My head hurts and I’ve been doing this for 3 hours with NO gain. I’m a bit of an idiot and again, I’m annoyed. Why the hell can’t I just REMEMBER?

I mean come on, I was so happy on the 24th because I finally understood all the acids and bases module AND most of the calculations (moles and shit) module, but NOW I just don’t seem to recall facts. Idiot.

I couldn’t be properly angry earlier because I was sitting with my sister and it would be unfair on her for me to break down, plus I didn’t want to leave her, but now she’s gone to have a shower and I can feel the massive amounts of self-hatred building up.

Elm, why can’t you get this? Why do facts go in one ear and then out the other? Why do you feel like you’re about to start screaming and crying and WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE BETTER AT THIS?! The FUCK?!!!

I need a rest but I’ve been WAY too lazy these past few days. Maybe it’ll come back to me in the exam, but I can’t take that chance.

My sister’s coming back downstairs so I have to act happy, or at least okay with myself. I think this crap will pass but I CAN’T take a break from revision. Perhaps I’ll do physics but I feel too sick and if I screw up the mini tests again I’ll flip.

Sorry – I’m just tired and stressed when I have no right to be. Has anyone got any tips? Think I need them.

From Elm πŸ™‚

112 thoughts on “I WASN’T Going to Freak Out, but then THIS HAPPENED

  1. Oh god I wish I could help! I ALWAYS forget things. All I know is that you will remember better if you write it down in blue pen. When I revise, I write lots of simple, organised and neat revision notes in blue pen and I find that I can usually always remember it. This means in the exam, you will think back to your notes and you will be able to visualise the whole page!

  2. Okay elm, calm down. This crap WILL pass, it will, but if you get in a fluster you’re not going to get any revision done. The best thing to do right now is to take a break. Log off WordPress for a couple of days if you need to, and have a really long bath, or watch a movie or snooze for a couple hours. Remember you STILL HAVE TIME. But if you panic and revise 24/7 you will get mores worried and more anxious and everything will build up. So instead maybe revise every day in the morning when you’re not sleepy , and put some classical music on while doing so. Concentrate REALLY HARD for those few hours, and make a plan on what to revise every day. Then in the afternoon, if you’ve finished everything you needed to, go and treat yourself. Meet up with your friends, whatever makes you happy. If you didn’t get everything done, don’t leave it till ten pm because then you’ll start stressing again.
    I hope that helped πŸ™‚ xxx

  3. This could take a while but I will try and summarize it. First I am a guy if that means my advice doesn’t count now would be a good time to reject this comment. Second I am old… no I mean really OLD like 70 years old but I think the age will help with my suggestion, so hang in there. About three years ago I decided to get an FCC license which required me to know and pass a number of electronic and legal information tests. Long story short I passed… short story explained… I studied and knew the material when I took an online practice test, but the day of the test I could not think of one of the equations or legal principals I was required to know. Just maybe your stress like mine is blocking your being able to see that you do know the material! Please trust me on this I have been around enough years to know full well whatever happens on your test the world as you know it will not end and if you do stumble big deal…. get your ass of the floor and go back and work harder.

    • Oh my goodness, this REALLY kicked me into shape – thanks for that. I guess I get so stressed that whenever I have a test, I panic and think that if I fail, it’ll affect my entire life, which is a. Wrong and B. Rather close-minded of me, but there you go.
      Anyway, thanks so much for commenting, and I would NEVER dismiss it. I think I need older people to tell me the kinds of things you said, because otherwise, I’ll work myself into a corner trying to revise SO much.

  4. I always forget things in mini tests when I panic. Scratch that, I forget everything! When I panic. Just try to keep calm and believe that you can do this. Your knowlege doesn’t just fly out of your brain one day, it’s still there, you are just not allowing yourself to access it. But don’t worry, you’re still fine. There is still time to care for yourself before the exam. Overworking will make everything worse. Take a break, as difficult as it sounds, because you can’t work like this. Focus on the good things, like all those award nominations! Then come back to your work but from a different approach. Try a different revising technique. A few ideas:

    1. Photocopy or copy out your information and then cut it up and put the sentences back together like a jigsaw puzzle.
    2. Stick revison notes around your room, you could arrange them in a pretty way!
    3. Voice record yourself reading your revison notes and then play it back in your ears while you do mundane things like eating breakfast ect.
    4. Make a powerpoint, because they are really fun. And then you can print it out and read it later.

    I hope this helped just a tiny bit. Keep going Elm, you can do this πŸ™‚ x

  5. Hey, don’t worry about it! Although mocks are incredibly stressful, trust me, mine were so horrible, they’re not the end of the world, and if you’re sacrificing your happiness for them, it’s really not worth it. You need to balance working with doing things you love, because if you’re not in the right mindset revising for ten hours isn’t going to help, and that’s time you could spend doing things that make you happy. There’s still time before the end of the holidays, and you can do this! I believe in you πŸ™‚ xxx
    PS if you need help with Chemistry or any of the other things we both take then I’ll explain it to you xxx

  6. any type of science frustuate me the fuck out . I had the same experience becasuse I’ve been paying attention in science class but I was taking a test on the material we learned but I came up blank . I tought I understood it well and I got most of it right on the exercises but I still couldn’t remember a thing on the test . stressfull πŸ˜€

  7. Oh my gosh, Elm, I so wish I could help and I feel so sorry for you! Please please, don’t put yourself down about this. I know it might seem hard and I know it’s really frustrating, but it’s only a test and you can revise again and again however many times you want before the real thing. Don’t worry about it, you’ll be ok in the end.
    Sending hugs!! xxxx

  8. Oh wow Elm , try breath and calm down. Just take a break and calm yourself. Stressing and getting flustered wont help. YOU CAN DO THIS. Im sure of it. Your trying your best and thats all you can do. You have plenty of time to revise and dont worry science is a really fricking hard subjecg and its super easy to forget. Try using youtube videos to revise and take notes and do practice tests in the samencolour pen you will use in the actual test.
    Try drawing little photos to help you remeber and use lots of colour.
    Drink.lots of water and chew gum while studying and chew the same gum during the exam. It helps remeber, I did it in my junior cert and they were the biggest tests I ever had and it helped me.
    Best of luck elm…dont worry too much you will be fine:)x

    • Ohh Megan, thank you so so much for that! πŸ™‚ Those tips are really great – I just need to remember them WHEN I revise, rather than after. Panicking is a HUGE issue of mine, but I’m trying to lessen it just that little bit and not get so flustered and angry with myself.

  9. You’ll be okay. I always get stressed when I revise and it takes me ten times longer than anyone else. It’ll be okay. I sometimes use mind maps or revision guides or cue cards. Whatever happens, IT WILL BE OKAY. If you believe it, it’s true xxx

    • That bloody well inspired me, you know that? I KNOW it’ll be okay, deep down; it’s just knowing it and letting myself BELIEVE it that are two different things. I need to, well, CALM DOWN, otherwise I won’t be able to do anything. How I’ll manage THAT, I don’t know, but I will. Positive thinking’s good – tricky, but good.

      • I read somewhere that a good trick is to not fight any upsetting thoughts, fears or distress. Just think ‘Okay, I’m freaking out, but that’s alright. It will pass.’ That helps me a bit, I hope it helps you!! And remember I’m here to talk anytime you want xxx

  10. Elm I think you are being to hard on yourself as per usual. You need to give yourself a break. I would really recommend studying for 20 minutes to a half an hour then taking a break. This really helps. You need to distress though. Have a nice cup of tea or something and just relax. Maybe you should try mind maps or flashcards. For my exams I used youtube for stuff I struggled ti understand. Drawing pictures beside facts help aswell. Just be calm and dont freak out!

  11. Elm if you’re not feeling well, you need to take a break! I know that’s hard, but if you’re tired and not feeling well, it will be a lot harder to study (speaking from experience). Maybe you only forgot things during the mini test because you’re not feeling well. Just take a break (maybe take a shower? That always helps me relax!), a deep breath, eat something good and then try again. You still have time, so even if you don’t remember everything today, doesn’t mean you won’t on the day of the exam! ❀ Is there maybe someone you can ask for help to understand things? I wish I could help but chemistry was never my best subject 😦 Maybe you can try emailing the teacher if there's something specific you don't understand! I hope everything will work out well ❀ But most importantly I hope you'll feel better soon, because your health is more important ❀

  12. Chemistry is no joke! I find regular breaks to just breathe and forget about the stressor helps a lot πŸ™‚ Also belief in yourself without comparing yourself to anybody or anything. Just do YOUR best.
    Lots of luck!πŸ’—

  13. Stress IS the worst feeling, other than anxiety for me, but please, PLEASE take a break! I hate seeing you like this, I want the happy and relaxed Elm! When you’re happy, I’m happy. Take a little break and do something you love for a bit xx

    • I think that’s a great idea πŸ™‚ Thanks, Em. THIS is the reason why I nominated you, because you’re just so inspiring and you KNOW how to calm me down.

  14. First: CALM. It’s OK; people forget things when they revise because they get worked up and stressed. What I do is take a break for 10-20 minutes and revise something that you know you’re better at. This replenishes self-confidence, and calms you down – try it, it might work for you! :-]

  15. Wow chemistry is just way too complicated for me. Don’t you have any friends that can help you or study together with? I think it might help. Anyways, good luck! Just stay focused even if it’s hard 😦 !

  16. One tip that I use myself is to get a revision card app. You type questions on one side and the answers on the other and it will read them out so you can say the answer and sort them into ones you got wrong and right. I was never good at chemistry so I can’t give you any specific advice sorry!

  17. Stressing out and trying to do revision while you’re not up to it is less of a help than a bother, try to calm down and maybe after a good sleep or something to freshen up try again and focus on your revision then. And if you need more incentive then plan something nice for the afternoon or have some yummy food waiting πŸ™‚ you can do it, Elm.

    • Yeah, exactly! I just need to calm down. Thanks for your amazing advice, as always. Seriously, if it wasn’t for you, I’d be panicking like hell right now

  18. Chocolate, hugs and water. Those help me when I’m stressed. And colours- use different colours to separate things. Take deep breaths. I believe in you.

  19. Try and revise it again and see if you remember. Maybe learn it in a way that you will never forget e.g if your into music write a song/rap that is easy to remember. Hope this works,
    Blog Girl xxx

  20. What I usually do when I experience that problem is that I will study again. Revise, memorize, take a mini test. That’s all I do. Also, I just calm down, do some breathing exercise and stress eating (don’t do that). In this case, when you study again, there’s a higher chance you will remember all the info immediately because you’re just trying to remember it. Hope this helps

  21. Elm!!! *waves like an animated idiot* I’m here after SUCH a long time and seeing you around is always such a mood-lifter…. HUGS!!! ❀ I've missed you!!!

    As for hints… Elm, have you ever tried meditation? It might help. I mean, I'm not sure, but… I guess it helps to focus and all?

  22. Hi buddy πŸ™‚
    I’ve just nominated you for an award
    For the details, check my blog (It’s the first post) πŸ™‚

    Also, just try to compartmentalise everything. Like a checklist.. It always helps me when I’m going to panic (or already panicking)

  23. Oh Elm, that sounds terrible. I remember when I had my Chemistry exam coming up and I was just ready to give up and start crying, but then I realized I could learn some of the harder facts or formulas in the form of a song. The only reason I aced polyatomic ions was because some angel had sung a song on them to the tune of Mulan’s I’ll Make A Man Out of You. Maybe YouTube will help for the future? The lovely people on there have great tricks to help you remember little facts and figures. And I hope you’re alright now ❀ ❀ ❀

  24. chemistry is extremely frustrating, and i can relate to this a lot because i just had finals a couple weeks ago. but i’m sure you can do it! using flashcards is a great idea, quizlet is a great program to use to make flashcards online. also, studying with friends definitely helped a lot! talking out the information with other people and trying to teach them helps you learn the information. the most important thing is that you don’t overwhelm yourself with the information and don’t forget to relax every once in a while. you can do it! i believe in you! πŸ™‚

    • The fact that you’re willing to give advice to me just makes me feel happy πŸ™‚ Thank you SO much. You’re right – I just need to relax.

  25. I took chem 2 years ago and it felt like I was taking a second foreign language. It’s such a frustrating subject because the concepts are extremely difficult to grasp. Whenever you’re super stressed over this or anything, just take deep breaths. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold it for 3, then exhale for 7 seconds. It always helps me destress and relax. When it comes to memorizing chem stuff, flashcards are super helpful, especially quizlet. Also studying with friends is great too because you’re with a group of people who share the same struggles as you. I’ve always liked reading things out loud and adding swear words to things I need to memorize. It makes it more fun and I end up remembering it better. I hope that advice helped, I’ve been in your shoes many times before and I’m always happy to give advice πŸ™‚

  26. For me, stressing out means I forget whatever I knew, regardless of HOW well I knew the subject. Its kinda why my 10th and 11th grade haven’t gone as well as they could have. I freaked out, buying into the whole ‘this is serious stuff, life altering stuff, passing these exams is as important as your right lung blah blah’. Whereas when I didn’t worry so much and didn’t sweat it, the stuff came so easily it was almost unfair. But remember that your academic grades are no measure of your talent or intelligence. And as far as revision goes, I convert all my textbook stuff into little, illustrated notes in a thin notebook which are easy to skim through and make the studying process less intimidating. Plus filling the notebook with lame subject-related puns helps me remember the stuff too πŸ˜› (for instance, why did Medusa’s hair never tangle? Because it wasn’t cohairent. Yeah. I know.)
    Hang in there.

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