I wasn’t having a good day today, and the thought of “UGH, why do I even have a blog anyway?” popped into my head and I felt crappy.
BEFORE YOU PANIC, NO, I’m not quitting. I’d never. I just want to talk you through what I felt and then what I felt after realising I was being a moron.
What I felt before:
Ugh, this is so pointless. Who cares anyway? What am I getting out of this? I NEVER read anyone’s blogs anyway, or reply to comments quickly, or I never talk to bloggers and I’m not involved enough. Not as involved as other bloggers, and for GOD’s sake I have 970 or so followers, and that’s not even GOOD in the grand scheme of things. Seriously, things are just running away with me and a blog won’t even help. I don’t make enough time for it, or my friends through it, and I don’t read or write enough or talk enough or ENGAGE enough. And besides, it doesn’t even matter if I leave.
What I felt after:
SO MUCH WOW, actually, people do give a shit. They CARE about you, you moron; they give you advice and email you. Yeah, you might not be so involved, but you have your GCSEs this year and things are going on too and you can’t be EXPECTED to do everything. ALSO, 970 followers IS GOOD, but even if you had 50 or less, it would still be good. The fact that you’ve continued with this for more than 9 months shows you CAN be bothered. And come on, you LOVE blogging. You might think your posts are shit but at least they brighten up other people’s days. It’s OKAY to have doubts, but you know, you’d be lost without blogging and you adore it.
And YES, I’m shocked and slightly terrified that I talked MYSELF out of it, without resorting to screaming and thinking my life/blog/personality/existence is worth nothing.
Well then. I’m still feeling down, but you know what? Things are okay.
I’m someone with a blog, who’s built a life on here. I’m not as good as other bloggers, I don’t engage AS MUCH, but I love it. I love you guys. I love just putting words onto a screen and having people READ it; the novalty of that still confuses me.
I’ve built a life here, and if you’ve got a blog, so have you. Don’t let your insecurities and doubts get you down. No matter HOW many followers you’ve got, or likes or comments, write for YOURSELF and anyone else who reads it. It’s your blog, and no bitch is gonna come along and scream that you’re a crappy blogger and your words flow as well as a river filled with sludge.
That image is disgusting OH GOD
All in all, you’re you. I can’t inspire people to save my life, but I learned that throwing a temper tantrum when you think you’re not good enough is a little pointless. You’re never going to think you’re good enough; I still don’t. I still think my blog’s a little boring and I don’t talk about GOOD things.
But that doesn’t matter. I love blogging, so blogging’s what I’ll do.
From Elm 🙂