When It’s This Day Again

It’s 29 February 2016.

On 29 February 2012, I was a complete moron. You couldn’t find a more immature girl if you tried; I was annoying, rude etc. And now, I’ve changed so much that it’s unreal.

I suppose you’d say I’m a different person. I know what matters, and I’m actually able to take responsibility for myself. I can have upsetting conversations with people WITHOUT arguing and blaming them, in fact, I blame myself most times. I’m still confused and sometimes I get miserable, but don’t we all?

It’s just over 4 hours until 29 February ends, which we won’t see for another 4 years. Why haven’t I made this day matter? Perhaps I wanted to treat it like any other day, but why didn’t I do something good? Should I go and apologise to people I’ve hurt? Hmm.

Why is this day special? It’s an extra day. Treat it like an extra chance, I suppose.

Put it this way: you’ve all done shitty things in your life, that you regret, that you hate and wish you hadn’t done. This day’s like any other, but just think: if you hadn’t done all those things, who would you be today? You’re the person you are now and dwelling on what ifs will just make you miserable.

I wonder, what will things be like in 4 years? Will I be happy, and will I look back on THIS year with sadness?

And the big question is: what kind of awful things are going to happen, that will make me feel guilty, worse than I already feel? The future terrifies me and I don’t know if I want to live in the moment for a bit, or plan WAY ahead.

Oh, I don’t care. What will happen will happen.

From Elm ๐Ÿ™‚

31 thoughts on “When It’s This Day Again

  1. today, half of me was like IT’S JUST ANOTHER DAY LOL AT SCHOOL AGAIN and the other half of me was like having an existential crisis that I was wasting this rare day and I should be solving world hunger or something. But, what freaks me out the most is what I’ll be doing in exactly four years time, what will have happened in that precious time frame. Will I even be here? oh no let’s NoT THinK LiKe THaT hopefully everything will go smoothly ahhhh

  2. I didn’t even realize that it is February 29 but your post is great. I never looked at it in this way

  3. This is such an interesting post. Strangely enough, I didn’t even really register the date today: I didn’t make any special efforts or take notice of the extra day. To me personally, it doesn’t feel hugely momentous, but it’s been really interesting to see just how many people on here have seen it as something important. X

  4. Why is the big question what awful things will happen? What about all the amazing and wonderful things that can happen too!!

  5. That was a beautiful post Elm. I never thought about it this way. You’re such a genius! Four years ago, I was probably the loneliest and saddest boy you could think of. It was such an awful time. I can’t believe how much better my life has become. If I knew back then where I’m at now, I’d cry of happiness.
    Thanks for making this post and for making me think! I really hope that in 4 years all our lives would be better, especially yours because you deserve it ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Four years is long time. Hopefully, by then, we won’t be living on the streets and maybe have a job. and also, hopefully humans won’t be taken into alien custody and made the slaves of robots.

  7. This was a bit depressing, but then I read to the end and I felt all good again inside ๐Ÿ™‚ And i also love the fact that you said that the extra day is like an extra chance.

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