Yeah, fuck the hiatus, this is important. I’m going to regret this post in the morning but whatever.
I’ll say it plainly. Rapunzel and I broke up – if you don’t know who she is, read my post called Happiness without a Catch (can’t be pissed to link it because rebel).
I need to first say that she was so damn lovely about it. She was on the phone with me and said it in the nicest way possible – you KNOW someone knows you well when they tell you not to blame yourself for anything, and then SUCCEED in not making me think I’m a shit person. That takes skills 😀
I’m not sure why I put that last bit. Also Rapunzel if you’re reading this, don’t read this paragraph because it might make you feel shit, and I couldn’t ever want that. But I will be honest with you guys; I feel absolutely shit but that’s unavoidable. My eyes are VERY painful but you know what? It’s okay, because in all the break-up scenarios that could have happened, that was the best.
This was the kindest. I’m honestly happy that she told me, in the way she did. I know that she’s still going to be there for me and I for her; stuff won’t change that. We still feel the same about each other and that’s okay, because we’ll both be okay.
I won’t go into details about my feelings right now because they’re fresh and raw and painful, and I don’t want this post to be overly negative. Also, I don’t want to guilt-trip her by accident; she’s so fabulous and has such a kind heart it astounds me. She’s also sensible as fuck.
I don’t hate her. I’m not happy, but I could never be angry. Yes, I feel a little like everything’s just exploded in fire and blood and anguish, but I’m SO much more calm than I thought. I’d be.
All in all? I will be okay. I won’t let this affect my exams, but I’ll be able to deal with the pain in my own way. I hope you guys are doing amazingly.
I thought I’d tell you because you deserve to know. You’ve all watched me through the various stages of my love life, my breakdowns and shrieking moments, so it’s only natural that I tell you; plus, I NEEDED to post about it. I have other things to tell you, but that can wait until the half term, or until the exams are over.
I’ll grow from this, and maybe now it feels awful, but at some point it’ll feel okay. I’ll be able to cope and I’ll be fine, truly fine, and I’m going to hold onto that hope.
Love from Elm 🙂