Why I’m Going to Start Talking about My Love Life Again

This post contains some updates on my so-called love life, with some weird kind of thought rambling before it.

Remember the so-called “old days” of Elm, where I’d talk about my various “crushes”, problems I was experiencing, and general screaming embarrassment? That’s going to start again – unofficially, because I never REALLY stopped. Nothing’s happened; I just decided that next time something does (haaaaahaaaa), I won’t shy away from posting about it.

Why, you might ask? And if you haven’t, I don’t blame you. Well first of all, I miss talking to you guys about it. I remember in the summer, with everything to do with Cassia, and Palm and ALL the other things. Before that: Birch, Ash, Cedar. I felt happy that I could yell about what was going on without fear of getting picked on, or without fear of people reading it who would tell anyone.

My post yesterday, for all its negativity, made me think seriously. In my last two relationships, with Aspen (NOT THE BLOGGER) and Rapunzel, they both knew about my blog. Rapunzel before we went out, of I showed Aspen after.

As much as I respect both of them to the highest degree, showing them my blog meant I couldn’t write about them. When I went out with them, I doubt I would have even if I HADN’T shown them, but afterwards I needed a place to rant and (about Aspen) shout about what a terrible person I thought I was and (with Rapunzel) have an outlet for all the confusion I felt. Right now, I’m okay; I didn’t have that then though and it felt like something was missing.

Now I look back on it, I think they would have been okay with me posting about what was happening. Well, not CERTAIN situations, but my general feelings. Saying that, I felt and occasionally still feel trapped and like I shouldn’t speak about things even now. Not that bad things have happened, but ehh.

In a nutshell, Rapunzel and I have agreed to move on. So much has happened after we broke up, which made us both feel shit. I didn’t tell any of it to you because of privacy issues and I just felt too bad to talk about it properly, anyway; it’s all sorted now, luckily. Because of that, we said we can’t keep doing this to each other. So that means that we both said it’s okay for us to get with other people, and though I feel horrendously guilty about it, it’s alright. I haven’t yet, but at some point I will, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

I feel much more free to post about things now. After we had a long conversation, which involved me getting way too overly emotional, I realised that sometimes you get the right person at the right time. Then, that right time turns into a tiny bit of a wrong time, and it keeps on growing until something HAS to be done. Yeah, it still hurts and I’m not over it and won’t be for a while, but we’re both trying. Anything might happen, but for now, I’ll just live my life. She’s still the “right” person, but it’s entirely the wrong time and sometimes people just don’t work, no matter how right they are for each other. That’s okay.

That’s why I want, and NEED, to post about happenings with me in the future. I’ve also decided not to tell anyone really about my blog until I really, really trust them – specifically those I might get into a relationship with, because I NEED an outlet to talk about it.

I don’t like going behind people’s backs. In fact, I find it terrible and I’ll think I’m a bad person. Sometimes, though, it has to be done, as I WILL need advice from time to time. It’s only natural, and for my piece of mind and happiness, I want to do this. To talk about a cute conversation I had, or happiness I felt. To get confused over people without having to censor my words.

It’s MY blog, and it’s ME. I’ll write it for me, and for people reading it; not to impress, but just to talk about my life. It’s bloody therapeutic as well.

I’m quite excited for this summer. It may seem throwaway and a bit bad, but I kind of want to get out there and do things. Kiss people. Be FREE. I can, after all; nothing’s stopping me but the thought that I might be taking things too fast. When will I get the next chance, though? This summer is stress free and I’m glad of that.

Also, who DOESN’T love and cringe about an embarrassing story from me?

Has anthing interesting happened to you guys lately? What do you think about me posting about all this?

From Elm πŸ™‚

41 thoughts on “Why I’m Going to Start Talking about My Love Life Again

  1. I can’t wait to read these posts! My guilty pleasure is just reading people rambling away about their crushes πŸ™‚ Nothing very interesting has happened to me recently, but fingers crossed for the summer!

  2. LOL, same as littleteensblog, for some reason its interesting!!u probthink im weir dlol!!yes, your post was good, cos its ur blog after all, and whats the point in it, if you cant post what u feel good with:)xx<3

  3. I totally get you.
    Like I haven’t told anyone I know about my blog but it’s not like I’m hiding it either (it’s my real name; it’s basically a Google away).
    But I would like the freedom of knowing I can write about things that happen to me in my daily life without the people involved reading about it. It’s not like I’m planning on badmouthing them or anything (but who knows? I might be tempted someday) but it’s… basically like someone reading your journal. Seems kinda silly because “Why are you posting your journal online” but it’s different when the people reading it know you personally and are involved as well.
    If you wish to post more relationship stuff, by all means, do so.

    • I really think I will. And yeah, I know exactly what you mean! πŸ™‚ I love my friends so much but it’s sometimes difficult to feel you have NO freedom, you know?

  4. Yes Elm! It is YOUR blog, and it shouldn’t be for anyone else, if it’s not for already for you! I can’t wait to read more of these posts and to be honest even your most cringe worthy posts are probably ten times more interesting than a single day in my life πŸ˜‚. I know, I’m so boring. Anyways, I’m so happy you feel like you can use your blog to the fullest as an outlet for your emotions because it’s hard sometimes to keep things bottled up. Can’t wait to read more! x

    • Awww thank you so much! πŸ™‚ I’m honestly looking forward to posting it, because it’s high time I opened up more about EVERYTHING. I want this to be a place where I’m honest and where I can express my true feelings. Also, RUBBISH! My cringeworthy posts aren’t actually that interesting πŸ˜›

  5. I feel the same way. There is so much I want to write, because I have so much feelings inside of me that I want to get out, but I can’t because (I don’t even know how) but the person making me feel that way found my blog, and even though they hurt me, I don’t want to write about them, and then them read it and be hurt by it…

    • Oh GOD yes, I understand how you feel on that! 😦 How on EARTH could they have found it? That sucks and I’m so sorry. ARGH! But yeah, just remember that if you ever do need to rant, I’m here.
      Oh man the person that hurt you finding it would be even worse because they then KNOW that private part of you.

      • I know!!! It sucks. I want to say some things, but I refrain from it because they will read it and they will know… Ahhh anyways thank you so much! ❀️

  6. I’m not allowed to post private stuff so it’s annoying when I can’t use this as an outlet sometimes cause I had more problems then I showed which is stupid cause i’m basically asking for sympathy which I didn’t mean to do, it’s hard to explain but I wanted to express more problems and complain as an outlet cause at the time it was tough.I hope no one finds my blog. Even if I didn’t post private stuff much i’d be embarrassed cause i complained about having no friends or how I hated school. now i’m panicking crap

    • Sorry I can’t comfort you at the moment 0-0 i’m a bit worried with this problem as well, although mine isn’t exactly the same. This blog is awesome, but it couldl be the death of me lol

    • Don’t panic 😦 Remember, I’m always here to talk if you need to rant to someone you don’t know in real life. How come you’re not allowed to post private stuff? It’s your blog after all 😦

      • I have to stay anonymous, i’m just not allowed lol XD I mean, i’m fine with being anonymous but some problems just have to stay private :/ Thankyou so much elm ^^ It is my blog, i’m just raised a bit strict, i’m lucky to have a blog at all lol

      • Aww well 😦 Do your parents readit? And ahh, staying anonymous means you CAN talk about your problems, but if you literally can’t then that’s okay. Frustrating though 😦

      • tbh i don’t even know lol. i know, staying anonymous does mean it but i still can’t lol XD

  7. Blogs are so very therapeutic! Posting about this is what makes you feel good and I think you should continue doing just that πŸ™‚

  8. OH GOSH, I know the struggle Elm. Sometimes, I really wish that NO ONE irl knew about my blog. It would be so much easier to post things without them finding out…but oh well.
    I can’t wait to read about your love life Elm *insert 10000000 creepy faces here*…Don’t run awayyy!!!! XD
    No but seriously, don’t worry for now. And post about whatever you feel like- the support system will ALWAYS remain intact πŸ˜‰

    • Yassss that it will! Thank youuuu you fab person!!! And yeah, real life people can be tricky but I love ’em πŸ™‚
      EEEEK can’t wait to write about ’em!

  9. I can’t waittt! Things have been going on here, left me kind of confused but I’m dealing with it. I think. Anywayss I hope you’re okay and you should be free to blog about whatever you want! I hope you have a fun summer πŸ™‚ xx

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