Today’s The Day!

Not going to lie, I’m very mildly terrified, because today is Prom. As in TODAY. WHAT. THE HELL.

It feels like I’ve been preparing for this for so long, and I’m worried it won’t live up to expectations. To be honest, I think I’ll just wing it – because I’m nervous, I think I’ll run through the plan.

I’m going to get my makeup, hair and eyebrows done at 2. HELP!!! I don’t know what I’m doing. On Monday, I got my dress properly adjusted so that it ACTUALLY fits, which made me feel great. Trust me: I never get fully made up, so this will be a weird first for me.

Red and I agreed to go with each other, as friends, over a year ago. That’s still going on, so I’m going to his house at about 5:30. After that, and after his mum and mine take about a billion pictures, we’re going to Pine’s house (my oldest friend from secondary school) for a sort of pre-prom.

Here’s where it gets complicated. Originally, I was going to go to my friend Holly’s. My entire friendship group’s going there, but I decided to go to Pine’s because Red and I both just wanted to. Pine’s always been there, and I am SO grateful to her for everything she’s done. I feel unbelievably guilty for just abandoning my group, and I love them so much; I don’t want them to think that I hate them because that’s as far from the truth as you can get.

I’m getting even more nervous now, but a friend of mine – S – said I’d be totally fine so I’ll TRY and believe them. Breathe, Elm, breathe!

After the Prom, I’ve roped myself into going to an afterparty. WHATTTTTT!!! I was going to go to Holly’s, but I decided not to because when will I ever get the chance to go to a proper party again? It’s undoubtable that there will be drugs and insane amounts of drinking, but I’m okay with that.

There’s just one minor, tiny, TOTALLY INSIGNIFICANT issue. It’s hosted by Ash and one of his friends. The Ash. The fuck am I doing? He said it was totally fine that I could come, but still, I’m SO incredibly scared because:
1. It’s Ash.
2. I hate drugs.
3. I’m scared Pine will abandon me (I doubt she will).
4. It’s my first REAL party after Ivy’s birthday one.

When it comes to things like this, I’m a total disaster. Today, though, I’m just going to LIVE my life and to hell with the consequences. It’s rare that I let myself go, let all my inhibitions fly away, because I’m scared of losing control.

If I “get with” someone, that’s okay. Now’s a good enough time to do it, because it’s Prom and I’ll actually feel confident. Who knows what’ll happen? All I know is that tomorrow, there will be a long post, detailing exactly what went on the night before.

Elm, at a party? HAHAHAA! Elm, kissing random people and not feeling miserable afterwards? Woah, holy shit! I’m telling myself it’s not wrong to do that, because I won’t be playing with people’s emotions and it’s fine. I can do this.

Although I’m nervous that my dress will look terrible, my makeup will go wrong or my hair will look like a train wreck, I’m just going to enjoy myself. Maybe it won’t live up to how I wanted, but I’m going to get as much out of this day as I possibly can. Why not? I’ll be with my friends, and with people I can get to know; I’ll be free to actually show my year what kind of a person I am.

I want them to see me, and I want myself to truly appreciate who I am. This is long overdue, and now’s the time to do what Birch always said: live.

From Elm πŸ™‚

100 thoughts on “Today’s The Day!

  1. woop woop, Elm’s going to PROM and she’s gonna have an AMAZING time!! stop imagining the worst case scenario and start imagining the good stuff. like you said, LIVE.

    • I WILL, I DEFINITELY will! πŸ™‚ Living is great; I just want to let myself be free and be happy. I’ll tell you all what happens!

  2. Prom is so amazing! I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I didn’t even decide to go until two weeks before the actual day! So don’t worry, it will be so good. Hope you have a fab time 😊 x

  3. Hhahaha you’re hilarious. You’re going to have a great time!! I bet your friends might miss your attendance slightly at the pre-prom, but they definitely shouldn’t mind that you want to go to Pine’s house. Enjoy prom while you still can and from what you wrote, you seem to be doing that just fine! If you’re worried about being alone, just talk to Pine and ask her if it’s okay to stay next to you for a while Bc u know, Pine probably needs her own fun too. Hahha enjoy!!!

  4. Prom is like a right of passage I think! Enjoy it for what it is and try and enjoy the after party bit. Don’t feel pressure to do anything you don’t want, just have fun with your mates, but if you want to get off with someone, do it πŸ˜‰ (That was the first time I ever got off with someone at a party and although it was awful, it’s not a regret!) xxx

    • I’m glad! Regrets are horrible and you learn from every experience! Yeah, it was so good; I didn’t go to the afterparty though because I was SO tired

  5. I don’t know what to say cause i’ve never been to parties nor am I interested, but you are going to have a great time. Enjoy your years. I know your beautiful. Just stay away from drug stuff and have fun cause again, these are your years ^^ Tell us how it goes ^^

    • It was so so sooo good, though I didn’t go to the afterparty! Oh well πŸ˜€ Ohh thank you so much I really hope I did look good!

  6. It’s my prom tonight too! I’m pretty nervous but I’m meeting up with friends beforehand and then having a sleepover afterwards (not going to the afterparties because it ends at midnight). I’m sure you’ll have a great time!

  7. So proud of you that you stepped out of your comfort zone like this, Elm!! I have trouble letting go too, but it’s the best thing ever πŸ˜€

  8. Omg I hope you have the best time you deserve it so much. You will look gorgeous hunny! ❀❀ also you better be doing a post all about it soon else I will be mad πŸ‘Œ

  9. YAY have fun Elm! I guess… just don’t think too negatively; if you let them twirl around in your head, it’s going to impact your experience. Trust me. So just think about having fun! Also, stay clear of drugs and stuff. Uh-oh, my overprotective mom side is coming out. Hell, I might as well call you “dearest”.
    Have fun & enjoy yourself, Elm dearest! (fuck yes, I called you “Elm dearest”. Believe it.)

    • I am now Elm dearest, according to the great Hanna! πŸ˜€ Honestly though, I had such a great time. No drugs OF COURSE, because I didn’t go to the afterparty – even if I did, no drugs for me! UGH, who need ’em anyway. Not me!
      Eeeek I’m gonna write a post in about an hour explaining what happened!

      • Aw, I’m not that great :S. Good job avoiding drugs, though I have no idea why you would do them in the first place. Can’t wait to read your post!

      • Yeah, I KNOW you won’t :). I’m seriously so anti-drugs… I remember learning about them in health class. I had an argument with this asshole guy in my class because he was like, “Why wouldn’t you like the feeling at getting high?” I was like, “Oh, I don’t know. You have no control over your actions and it could ruin your life?!”

  10. Have a great time!
    Make the best memories
    N slay girl ❀️
    Waiting for the detailed update on how ur evening went 😜

      • I bet it is! Your’s is about life which makes it a whole lot scarier if some jobless creep tries to figure out who’s who, acronyms or no.

      • Yep exactly! And I do a TERRIBLE job of staying anonymous, which I should fix. Like I NEED to fix that. And cause it’s about life, there are so many things on here that’s personal and anyone from school finding it would be disastrous.

      • I’m really astonished at how wonderfully clear your diary-ish blog entries are. My diary is just emotions all over the place XD

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