A Little Segment of Internet Nostalgia

Back in the day – and by that I mean a year ago – I sent a lot of emails to my friend Ivy.

That had been happening since we were 12, like a routine. Sometimes, when I want to remember friendship, I look back and smile: when a crisis happened, I emailed her, usually with a long explanation. Over the past year, we’ve used messenger more to communicate, when we can’t call or see each other. Emails, though, are something I can never forget.

When I was 12, I used to email S (my now ex-boyfriend) a lot. Due to my, er, weird tendancies as a tween, he now has several horrendously embarrassing voice recordings that I sent to him. It’s become an on-going joke between us, because we both have recordings and emails that could mortify the other. Oh god, I don’t even want to think about the shit I said which I thought was cool at the time. My voice sounded like I knew everything and there’s one particularly awful one that I REFUSE to contemplate.

Now, the main group I email are bloggers. Saved in a folder far far away are some of the loveliest messages I’ve ever received from anyone, so well thought-out and beautiful to read. Whenever I get an email from one of you, it makes my day; I need to start emailing people more who I haven’t spoken to in a while.

I often find it “easier” to write an email to someone. I’m notorious for not replying to people, but with email, I can compose it spend TIME on it, without being pressured to respond just then. I can think more about what I want to write, which makes it less stressful. Because of Ivy, andother people, emails hold a special meaning to me. It’s rare now that I actually write one that’s not to teachers or bloggers, rarer even that I receive them, and whenever I do it’s nice and makes me smile.

On the Internet, in my files and folders and buried somewhere in the archives of Wattpad/Facebook/Twitter are a lot of things that I either love, despise or want to hide forever.

In addition to my voice recordings and nostalgic emails, there is:
• My various roleplay characters (I miss them)
• Various messenger conversations such as with Ash, which I just refuse to read because they’re either too uncomfortable or awful
• A horrific story I wrote when I was 7, that I typed up two years ago to keep (WHY?)
• Tweets from my 12-year-old self, more specifically the ones about the boyfriend I had then and the attention-seeking and overdramatic ones that came after that
• My ranty, three-paragraph long facebook posts from when I was 13. I was known for them, which now I think of it, is kind of bad
• My incredibly weird facebook comments and posts, plus numerous arguments I had various people (by the end of it, I enjoyed arguing and just did it for the banter)
• A video of me singing when I was 8 in my friends Poppy and Rose’s bathroom, in which I sound like a fly
• An even worse one of me attempting to do “sport”, which my dad plays to people sometimes when they come over
• Possibly the worst one of all: one of me when I was 11, talking about books. I’m not revealing any more because anonymity

Even if many of these make me cringe, or smile, I’ll always remember them with a sort of exasperated fondness. I’m looking back over Ivy’s emails and smiling because they are just so nice, and some I sent were nonsensical.

The ones from S are even funnier, as they’re just one line in an email attached to a voice recording. “Happy now?” “Shhhh” and “HEREEE” are just some of them. What was I thinking?

At some point, I’ll take a trip down memory lane, to properly show you my… Interesting internet side. For example, I have a document called “Bugger off” and “S’s shitty ramblings” and whenever I read them, I burst out laughing, like today when I was supposed to be having a free lesson.

I don’t plan on deleting any emails, or files, from when I was younger. They’re a reminder of who I was, all of the strange things I did, which make me who I am today.

Do you have anything terribly embarrassing/cute/nice on the Internet?

From Elm 🙂

22 thoughts on “A Little Segment of Internet Nostalgia

  1. Fortunately, I don’t think any of my really embarrassing things have made it to the internet. But with my brother, you never really know…

  2. My preteen and teenage angst journaling and poetry writing all happened in a time before the internet, thankfully. I hope I won’t be too embarrassed by the stuff I’m writing on the internet now. Only time will tell.

    • I don’t think you’ll be embarrassed 🙂 but good luck if you are! You’re very lucky that the things you wrote when you were younger aren’t on the Internet for ever!

  3. When I was in first grade high school, my teacher thought it would be fun to participate in a contest. You had to rewrite a song and send it in. And we won. The price was a day to a theme park and a recording session, so our entire class in a studio singing. There’s a video of us singing that song and I hope it’s somewhere hidden on the internet where no-one will ever find it, because I cannot sing and that song is horrible!

      • I FOUND IT, omg it’s so terrible and embarrassing. NO WAY I’m going to share it, it’ll haunt me forever

      • I would bloody love to see it! Saying that, some of the horrendously embarrassing things I literally can’t show to anyone because it has my real name 😦

  4. I save all of my old emails too! I love email for the same reason as you, because it’s less stressful and gives you time to reply. Everybody seems to only want to text now days though, so all of my extremely embarrassing conversations are stored in the land of old iMessages and hopefully will never see the light of day again. They’d be absolute nonsense to anybody but me and my friends, but the words “flavords,” “foyer,” and “Mother Do You Love Me” will live on forever in codeword history!

    • I totally get you there – me and my friends have too many catchphrase is to count that nobody else would find funny! And yeah, I know what you mean – and then, I have some pretty embarrassing emails as well uuurghhh!!!

  5. In the 90s, people would use AOL and MSN Messenger. It was really nice back then because people would actively log on to chat with someone. Now with messenger, it’s not really instant because you can reply later kind of Iike e-mail. I don’t know how to explain it, but there was a nostalgic thrill to logging on MSN and finding your friend online and having an hour conversation by messaging back and forth. It felt so futuristic but now it’s such an outdated way of messaging someone. Unfortunately, my MSN conversations got deleted. Very sad.

    Yup, I love e-mail for the exact same reasons you stated.

    • That’s such a nice way of doing things though! Just instantly talking to someone and having them reply back 🙂 so no ridiculously long pauses. It’s sad that they got deleted – it would’ve been nice to look back!

  6. I use to have a YouTube channel in Year 7 and it’s actually horrific oml. Luckly, I’ve put it on private but sometimes my friends bring it up and I just cringe in the corner, haha 🙂

  7. Okay so I am around half of your blog and I have been reading 6 posts a day and I am only telling you this because I have loved every word, I mean the reality check, the grounding feeling, the relatability, the understanding…everything has hooked me to this blog and obviously I am not giving a star to every other post because ‘why would i spam you!?!’ but still I m liking so many of them because I can’t helo myself, and its weird that I’d like to say sorry for that to you? I mean, I know this is weird and stupid but gaah. Can u understand? I am just genuinely liking your posts, pls don’t get annoyed if this gets too much. Also I am commenting on this one becuase this is exactly what I do. Keeping all the past chats saved even if the ppl have left, so i just thought of telling you that yeah, i do this too.

    • STOP APOLOGISING!!!!! I love it and appreciate it SO MUCH; you have no idea!!! I love you 🙂 I’m sorry I keep getting teary when I think about how much you reading my blog means to me. Never say sorry – okay? You’re someone special and I hope you know that.

      • It just effed up a bit and I was shrieking in anger and laughing at my helplessness at the same time. It looks like my reader just messed up the order of your posts and yesterday I found myself reading a post which should have logically followed the one I had just ended up reading. Your blog is almost an autobiography you see, and you can understand what it feels like when you read the wrong chapter first. So like I’ll give a whole thing a thorough check once again and start reading from google imstead of the app reader. Honestly you can laugh on me because I am doing the same right now xD

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