The one thing I have to hold onto is that I know that I don’t leave people in the dust, or I try not to throw them to the curb. No one’s perfect, but I do my best, and I want to show that to all of you, as well as myself.
Perhaps each paragraph tells the story of a different person. Maybe it is each sentence. Maybe, it is that the thread of every person I care about is interwoven here, tangled and interlocked, word upon word inside the whole abstraction. You decide, and interpret every you to be the you which you want it to be.
No matter the fame, the followers and likes and whatever else, I could never forget you. You – the first and last – don’t just help me; you support and hold me, virtually or otherwise, when the world crumbles and I cry a thousand glass tears. How could I leave that – to move onto better things, as if I’m saying “HAH your friendship was nice, but bye!” No. I’m not that type of person. You aren’t on a pedestal, and you aren’t beneath my feet, and you aren’t someone I look down on: I admire you so much, everything you’ve done.
Hating me doesn’t stop me being there, for you, even when you don’t want it. Times have not changed that much that I wouldn’t drop everything for you, to talk to you about anything. You are still amazing to me, and your problems will always be worth talking about, from the small to the large. I won’t shut you out, or tell you to shut up, because everyone fights their own battles.
What remains constant is my respect for you, and how I care. It means that, through whatever you do and say, through whatever I’ve done and said to you, I’ll still be ready to help whenever. I could never just leave, abandon you, because you were there when I sobbed until I couldn’t breathe, and you were there when my words screamed from a screen.
You will love many more, and maybe you never held love for me in the first place; your eyes will cry for so many more as mine will. You can cry to me, with no jealousy or hurt or anger attached; the friendship we had isn’t over with the flick of a switch.
I do questionnable things, throw away love like it’s cursed; I’ve taken people for granted. The majority of the time, I feel guilty for said things, calling myself an awful person whilst giving a hand to others when I can. But in spite of it all, I’m proud to say that “you” isn’t just an exception. You is everyone I love, have loved, will love, and anyone who would ever find it in their heart to need me.
Even when I want to staple my mouth closed, shut, blocking my words – I’ll still be here. The thought of destroying myself is put to the back, because I have the ropes of people to hold.
I would never leave any of you alone, behind, because you mean so much more and are more beautiful to me than just a fleeting star.
From Elm 🙂