Things I’m Convinced People Say about Me

I’ve managed to stay reasonably positive all day because I went to the park with my friend Ivy and talked for hours, but now I can’t keep it up. I need to let all this out, before I cry so much that I can’t breathe, and what better way to do than by blogging?

Eternally paranoid, prone to being too sad and exhausted, I’m a walking mess – and even that’s exaggerating. I have convinced myself that people are saying so many things about me, and so I’m going to unleash that in an explosion of unfiltered thoughts that people may not think, but that I think they do. Who knows?

Look, she’s not a bad person but she spreads stuff about people all the time; it’s awful.

Her problems aren’t even that serious! She should just get over stuff, you know – it’s been long enough already.

She can’t be trusted, so just don’t tell her anything.

I thought she’d be there for me, but she never was, and now she expects me to be friends with her?
She was something familiar, who I knew. I never really liked her – you should know that!

God, she’s so clingy, constantly messaging me. It’s getting annoying.

Why won’t she just stop – can’t she see I don’t want to talk to her?

I’m just stringing her along – I don’t want anything with her but it’s so funny to see her have hope.

She was never a good friend to me; I was just pretending so that she didn’t feel bad.

I couldn’t take her seriously; she was so inexperienced and the way she acted was so fake!

She hurt me so much, so how the hell can she just act like everything’s okay?

And she’s fucking ridiculous, all of the shit she did – and I bet she thinks you didn’t tell me, but who does she think she is?

She’s really naive, moping around everywhere – and it’s not her fault, but still, she’s never happy and it’s so tiring.

She never replies, or makes an effort, so why should I care about her? I’m not willing to try if she doesn’t.

Those attention-seeking comments she makes sometimes? Does she think she’s being edgy – and when she cries I feel so awkward because it just seems like she’s miserable whenever I speak to her.

The stuff she says is so generic and cheesy; she’s got no soul for it, and why is she respected anyway?

Well it’s not like she has a defining quality to her personality – I kind of find her boring. What does she have that stands out, really?

She has no personality when you think about it. She didn’t even bother getting to know me, though she thought she did.

She’s still upset about it? It was over a year ago, for fuck’s sake.

Did she really think I wanted to be friends with her after that?

… Just forget about her. You’re so much better, anyway.

One day, I won’t feel so Paranoid and I won’t think that people have a right to hate me. That day isn’t today and I can’t help it; I’ll get help for it at some point but I’m so exhausted and sick of my own exhaustion that I need to sleep.

Sorry about all that.

From Elm πŸ™‚

42 thoughts on “Things I’m Convinced People Say about Me

  1. Don’t ever be sorry to get your emotions out! And I can totally relate to what you’re saying, I wish I had some words of advice but I can barely think of some for myself! But I’m sure letting it all out in this post helped tones

  2. Umm, its sounds like something I’ve heard all to well from a lot, it is good to get it out, but it sounds like a deeper rooted problem, going through these things cause mental and emotional issues, we live to fight them though.But if you feel like you can’t get past your problems and you want them beside you so you can move on and do you, maybe something else,.. Bi-polar . sp,anger, whatever, there is never a problem to small , they all matter, and your important.

    • You’ve made my day by your comment πŸ™‚ just to know that somebody is listening, that somebody is there, and that somebody is willing to give me options as to what I can do? That’s something I really admire πŸ™‚ thank you XX

  3. and once again i relate almost too much to a post you’ve written. sometimes i just get too caught up in what other people MIGHT be saying about me, as opposed to thinking more about my lovely friends and that they really do love me.

  4. Elmy whelmy just remember that all your thoughts, feelings and emotions are valid. But don’t forget that for all those negative things that you think people say, there are at least seven times more positives. Plus you are the only person I have trusted to tell some things to as I know that you are an amazing person and would not do anything of malicious intent. Be prepared because I am going to complement you so much your ego will be as big as mine!

  5. I`m so sorry that you have to be bothered with thougts like this! But from what I`ve seen of you on here, you are an interresting and kind person! πŸ™‚ Just try to remember how great you actually are!

  6. You know what? People don’t really think that much of anyone, but themselves. It’s like when you THINK you have the biggest zit on the planet – & no-one sees it but you. I hate to tell you, but unless you look AMAZING (& I’m sure you do!) NO-ONE will be thinking those things about you. The world is too preoccupied with itself. So walk tall & free. We ALL think about what others think of us, but we are usually wrong. Your mark remains on those who want it. Those who don’t, won’t even know your name. You mean what you mean to those to whom you mean the most. Love, Daria.

    • That was what I oeeded to hear. Maybe not what I wanted – but then again what I want and need to hear are the same, now. I can’t thank you enough because you are so incredibly right and I’m astounded by the way that you told me, because it’s hit home.

      • That’s ok. In reality, people don’t notice us enough. But, we effect others in ways we’ll often never know. Including you. It’s the people who DON’T tell you, who are the one’s you’ve effected the most. The others hurt. But they hurt everyone. Love, Daria.

  7. People are stupid and although I don’t believe they actually say those things screw them. You are a wonderful person and you are always there when someone on here needs you. People who say stuff like this about you don’t deserve your attention

    • You actually make me smile so much; thank you. I hope that you’re right. I feel the most acute sense of insecurity sometimes but I’m getting through it!

  8. I know what it feels like to think that people are talking about you all the time. Keep your head up and know that even if they are talking (which 99% of the time they are not), then they don’t deserve you. You are AMAZING and you deserve the world. Keep your head up and stay strong, and remember that when people talk, it’s because they’re jealous of you and how incredible you are. πŸ’œπŸ’œ

  9. Man, you’re one of the most amazing people I know! And I’m not saying it just to say!! You shouldn’t think people say that about you! Not everyone likes us, but I don’t think they’re SO CRUEL!! You’re amazing and even if they said those things, you shouldn’t give an eff! Oh, yeah!!

    • Do you know what, I love you so much πŸ™‚ thank you! I hope that you’re right – I just feel so sad, because I’m pretty sure people do think those things about me, but there’s nothing I can do. Your words do help me though XX

  10. If someone repeatedly speaks bad about you, its generally because they’re worried that they are like that. Besides, if any of them were even half as good as you were, they’d say all of this stuff to your face( unless they want to be called out on their hypocritical nature) Just remember that none of these are worth energy. You don’t have time to hate people who dislike you if you’re too busy loving the people who love you back πŸ™‚

    • See, this is why you’re so good at advice because you tell me the things that I need to hear. And that, really, it means a lot. Carry on supporting people, because trust me when I say that they appreciate it more than they can say XX

  11. I bet Β£100 no blogger has even had that cross their mind and if they did, then they’re ridiculous! Elm, you’re the most supportive and kind blogger friend I’ve ever had πŸ™‚ x

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