I Took an Accidental Break from Life

When I take a “break”, what I usually mean is that I take an emotional break. All of my “HEY I’m going on hiatus guys!” posts which never actually hold true are more of a physical break, where I’m still so emotionally connected to everything but I’m forcing myself to not post, not talk, not anything because exams or stress or emotional sadness hit me like 50 bricks.

I only posted recently, but after that, I pretty much disconnected myself from a lot of things, which has made my mental health a bit weird. I’m not sure if I made it better or worse. My motivation’s gone down the drain, but I’m on the way to getting back up again. I’ve barely got the energy to talk to people with any semblance of normality, though I’ve tried.

This emotional break is weird; I couldn’t bring myself to do much except a vague amount of homework, and I shoved my blog to the wayside. 2 days might not seem like much, but for me, I found it disconcerting how detached I was from all of my friends and from my writing. It made me sad, but for some reason, I felt too rubbish to care.

Now, I’m back, and I am so incredibly sick of feeling this shit. My attitude won’t change over night; in fact, it’s going to take a long time and I know that. It’ll be filled with breakdowns and breakups and tears I won’t publicise. For you, it might not be noticeable, but I won’t stand by whilst I’m thrown to the curb and whilst I feel like people could not care about me. I’ve had enough of my sadness, but sometimes I’ll be too sad to change that right then.

This is just an update for you, to explain myself – not that you’d be angry, but this is also for myself. To remind myself I’m still going, I’m not emotionally dead, though it feels like that sometimes. To tell myself that the memory of people and of things I’ve done cannot destroy me.

Later tonight, I have some cool things to tell you, and by cool I mean dreadfully boring but I’m pretending my life’s exciting. Thanks for sticking with me.

If this post is monsensical, it’s because I’m ill. I have a cold and my voice sounds hilariously cringy; my nose is blocked; my head’s pounding and I’m supposed to be doing work.

Also, from now on, I’m going to make an effort to reach out to you guys. I miss talking to everyone.

Here’s an equation for you: helping people +talking to people +motivation +reconnecting with old friends =a happy Elm.

From Elm πŸ™‚

14 thoughts on “I Took an Accidental Break from Life

    • It’s difficult to believe sometimes, but you’re right πŸ™‚ thank you so much. I’ll try and give myself time, to help myself, and you’ve encouraged me XX

  1. Hi Elm. Thanks for telling us how you feel. (hugs)

    I have days like that, and refer to them as hibernation. I actually feel down today for some reason, and I’ve been listening to a song from Moana on repeat. Lol! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9uVjmwCFv4

    The fact that you’re writing about it and sharing with us shows your strength in wanting to overcome this part of your life. I know you can do this, because there is strength within you.

    I hope you feel better soon (physically and emotionally). Get some rest, and take a break from people if needed. To help others, you also need to care about yourself first. Sending love your way. ❀

    • You are exactly right! Your comment helped my mood more than I can say πŸ™‚ and I do love that song as well. I hope that you feel better too, and I’m working on making myself feel more positive. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting there XX

  2. I hope you pick up; & if it’s any consolation, you’re not the only person crying – not that that makes you feel any better, just means you’re not alone in your aloneness. x

    • It does make me feel better, actually, because it makes me feel less alone and therefore like I can talk to people. I hope you are okay πŸ™‚ thank you for your encouragement XX

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