Sometimes, all it takes to say something is a sentence; that’s okay because having short little thought explosions can help get my mind in order. Here are a few things I want to get off my chest, but writing a post about each one is too exhausting.
I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere and that nobody wants me in a group enough for me to stick with it.
I’m really bad at talking to people one-on-one, because I think I’m not interesting enough and that I have no real personality.
I’m terrified of being left behind and whenever someone becomes great friends with one of my best friends, I’m scared they’ll forget about me and I’ll be nothing to them.
I’m just scared in general that I was never enough for a person, that replacing me wouldn’t even be replacing to them because I don’t cross their mind enough times for me to be worth replacing.
I don’t eat enough and I’m hungry a lot of the time but sometimes, I don’t want to put the effort in to eat something.
I have a friend or two that I think I have feelings for, but I’m refusing to admit it because it might hurt me in the long run.
Being swept up in someone from my past is probably a bad idea, but I don’t know if I can help it or if I want to.
I’ve had feelings for a blogger – I suppose you’d call it that – and no one knew, knows or will know because it’s too embarrassing, stupid and would cause a whole lot of shit.
I’m paranoid that said blogger thinks I’m weird or hates me, but I’m illogically paranoid that many people do.
The most alive I’ve ever felt is when I’m disconnected from anyone that hurt me, but the happiest I’ve ever felt is being with someone that then did.
I’m known for accidentally spreading stuff I shouldn’t and I’m petrified that if I get too close to people, I’ll find things out and hurt them by accident, or cause a cycle of lies.
I don’t know what to do that will make me feel happier, or more connected with my emotions, that won’t result in confusion and pain.
I want to be happy, and I’m willing to try and let myself.
I haven’t had a real “crush” since July and I’ve forgotten what feelings without a dash of worry and pain feel like.
I want to fall in love but I’m trying to not hate myself first.
I’m worried that if I make people wait for me to be okay, they won’t move on and I’ll feel terrible and break people’s hearts.
I’m insecure about my appearance; I can become aggressive and I don’t know how to take compliments.
This is the most honest I’ve been on my blog for months, because right now I have no filter and I like it.
I feel like if I meet too many new people, I’ll be overwhelmed and forget about the old, but I want to get to know people and make as many people happy as possible.
I’m starting to help and care about myself, but in the process I think I’m neglecting everyone else.
There’s not one person who knows every single thing I’ve done because if there were, I’d end up hurting people by the things I say.
I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve ever physically done (if you catch my drift WOW).
However, if people knew everything they might be ashamed of me which is why I don’t tell them.
I love so many people – platonically – and I want them to know that.
To be honest, I overthink.
From Elm 🙂