Knowing the Complex Behind the Blog

I think that we forget – very much including me – that bloggers are, above all, humans with emotions, feelings, thoughts and most importantly? Flaws and “imperfections”.

Perhaps it’s not about forgetting but sometimes, it’s overlooked until you really get to know people. Maybe you’re not like me, but I find that I’m always scared of becoming close with bloggers or having them become close to me, just in case we’re different to how we write or act in the blogging world. The reality is that we are, most times, simply because we act diffedently around different people, but there’s always the worry that people are so different that they’re almost unrecognisable from their blog “persona”. That’s not a bad thing but like with anything, it could turn into one, though 9 times out of 10 bloggers are amazing people and understand me far better than a lot of those in real life. That’s just because they listen and really take the time to get to know me but I wonder: do people know me as a blogger or as a human being? Would people like me if they really knew all parts of me?

Upon realising at one point that I had feelings for a blogger, I utterly freaked out and beat myself up for it. I said, “Elm, you’re an idiot; stop this right now because keeping everyone happy and keeping things less complicated is what you need to do!” Why do I, though? This isn’t some utterly separate world; it’s tied in real life as closely as threads can be woven together: we, as friends, have just as much validity as those we meet in school, so why shouldn’t I take that same attitude with love? Bloggers aren’t superhuman and we’re capable of feeling because we bloody write about it!

No one can get on with everyone here; I’d be impressed if someone could go their entire blogging life without having been annoyed with at least someone: I have been, though I went about a year and a half without becoming angry at anything anyone did. As you become more involved in the community, it’s more likely that “drama” will crop up. Yes, it makes me feel uncomfortable and irritated because I just want people to get on but that can’t happen all the time. See above: we aren’t robots and we will upset at least one person, one time. People won’t like us, we won’t like them but that’s okay because it’s life.

I just need to remember that bloggers are people, not just words on a screen. We have issues, same as anyone you walk by in the street; we aren’t perfect, we’ll fuck up and mess up and not know when to shut up; we’re unique as pousonalities. I don’t ever want to disappear into the cascade of frantic blogging where I only do it for views: I do this for the people who need help.

I blog for the same reason I live: to meet new people and to understand what they go through. However, with people comes personality; with personality sometimes comes pain. Blogging won’t all be roses and sunshine but it’s one of the reasons I keep going. The bloggers, with all our faults and mixed feelings, are the reason I remember my heart’s still beating. I’m a person, too. So are you and so are the bloggers we talk to: we have to remember that accidental words can hurt.

Don’t forget that we’re all as human as each other. We cry, laugh and feel happy and we’ll do that forever. If blogging turns into a poisonous place for anyone, you have every right to speak up, the same as if it was in real life. You aren’t a machine, destined to churn out words to please readers; you have your own identity. I need to be reminded, too, because I often get scared I’m losing myself.

From Elm πŸ™‚

37 thoughts on “Knowing the Complex Behind the Blog

  1. “…do people know me as a blogger or as a human being?”
    Great question, that’s exactly what’ve been wondering when I was starting a blog, and I still am. I believe that I’m getting to know you as a person, not just a blogger who types things out using the keyboard, even though your posts are the only things that give me information about you. Sharing some personal aspects and events of your life, I think, is exactly what brings people with curiosity to your blog. We all want to get to know you xx

    • You are literally so amazing; thank you! I think you know me too – I don’t really hold back on here, not like I do in real life at least. It’s awesome to get your opinion! xx

  2. Tbh even if you write your deepest secrets here, most people would only judge (most) you and criticise you, it’s the fact no matter where you go, you will always be judge but you have got to be the bigger judge, don’t let their criticism affect you, rest’s upto you . And, don’t forget the people who read your post ( I may have read their comments lol) but ya are they judging you, no they are not, they can empathise with you, so see that. If I sounded offensive in anyway than ignore it, coz I don’t like buttering things up. πŸ™‚

  3. You’re so right. I’m a bit afraid to lose myself in the blogging world, especially since I highly value honestly and transparency. I was thinking about how you said we are all different on our blogs, compared to real life, and I think thats really true. I know I’m 100% more honest on my blog, and I share a lot of my life on there, and everything I’m dealing with, and I talk about things that wouldn’t come up in small talk with people you vaguely know. It’s more like I talk on this blog, like I’m talking to an old friend, or a close friend, where I’m not afraid to be judged, or ridiculed, and I can share all my interests with people all in one place.

    • I’m exactly the same! You remind me a lot of, well, me πŸ™‚ Because we both try and be as honest as we can on here. It’s so refreshing to be able to do that! Sometimes – or most times – I can’t say what I want to say when talking to people face-to-face, so it’s easier to do it on a platform where I KNOW people will listen.

  4. Yasss, loved this post!!! I agree, sometimes we forget bloggers are human beings and they have a life and things going on too. The good thing about blogging, is that you can share whatever you want about your life with the world, and (at least in my case) I’ve become closer to blogging friends than my real life friends. It’s cool because I’ve never thought I’d get close to so many people so easily but it’s weird that my friends and I are really awkward when it comes to those things. I don’t know, LOL
    Again, great post!! XD

    • Thanks so much – and I agree! I find that I trust some of my friends through blogging MORE than I trust majority of RL people. It’s weird how so many people in the community are close; it makes me so happy!

  5. Hey Elm, its been a long time since we talked ahaha but i totally agree with this post, about bloggers being human. It sucks when bloggers understand you better than the people around you.

  6. You shouldn’t allow anyone to change who you are. If you have feelings for someone else have them, only you can judge yourself not someone else. Your post today was amazing. You are right down to every word you said 😊

  7. Loved this post and I agree endlessly! Sometimes I forget that there’s a face behind the blog and it’s so true that we need to remember to respect everyone just as we would in real life

  8. I don’t think anyone could have said it better, I find my blog is the real me but in public and with people at school I put up a front to be more ” normal/like them”. This is such an inspirational post!😊

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