I think that we forget – very much including me – that bloggers are, above all, humans with emotions, feelings, thoughts and most importantly? Flaws and “imperfections”.
Perhaps it’s not about forgetting but sometimes, it’s overlooked until you really get to know people. Maybe you’re not like me, but I find that I’m always scared of becoming close with bloggers or having them become close to me, just in case we’re different to how we write or act in the blogging world. The reality is that we are, most times, simply because we act diffedently around different people, but there’s always the worry that people are so different that they’re almost unrecognisable from their blog “persona”. That’s not a bad thing but like with anything, it could turn into one, though 9 times out of 10 bloggers are amazing people and understand me far better than a lot of those in real life. That’s just because they listen and really take the time to get to know me but I wonder: do people know me as a blogger or as a human being? Would people like me if they really knew all parts of me?
Upon realising at one point that I had feelings for a blogger, I utterly freaked out and beat myself up for it. I said, “Elm, you’re an idiot; stop this right now because keeping everyone happy and keeping things less complicated is what you need to do!” Why do I, though? This isn’t some utterly separate world; it’s tied in real life as closely as threads can be woven together: we, as friends, have just as much validity as those we meet in school, so why shouldn’t I take that same attitude with love? Bloggers aren’t superhuman and we’re capable of feeling because we bloody write about it!
No one can get on with everyone here; I’d be impressed if someone could go their entire blogging life without having been annoyed with at least someone: I have been, though I went about a year and a half without becoming angry at anything anyone did. As you become more involved in the community, it’s more likely that “drama” will crop up. Yes, it makes me feel uncomfortable and irritated because I just want people to get on but that can’t happen all the time. See above: we aren’t robots and we will upset at least one person, one time. People won’t like us, we won’t like them but that’s okay because it’s life.
I just need to remember that bloggers are people, not just words on a screen. We have issues, same as anyone you walk by in the street; we aren’t perfect, we’ll fuck up and mess up and not know when to shut up; we’re unique as pousonalities. I don’t ever want to disappear into the cascade of frantic blogging where I only do it for views: I do this for the people who need help.
I blog for the same reason I live: to meet new people and to understand what they go through. However, with people comes personality; with personality sometimes comes pain. Blogging won’t all be roses and sunshine but it’s one of the reasons I keep going. The bloggers, with all our faults and mixed feelings, are the reason I remember my heart’s still beating. I’m a person, too. So are you and so are the bloggers we talk to: we have to remember that accidental words can hurt.
Don’t forget that we’re all as human as each other. We cry, laugh and feel happy and we’ll do that forever. If blogging turns into a poisonous place for anyone, you have every right to speak up, the same as if it was in real life. You aren’t a machine, destined to churn out words to please readers; you have your own identity. I need to be reminded, too, because I often get scared I’m losing myself.
From Elm 🙂