I am the Spider

I am nothing now
But tattered silk, ripped in
Guilt, lies and sorrow,
Dreading the undeserved and angered tomorrow-
Because of me?

I was the paragon and angel of
Justice, honesty, clear of thought;
Yet I twisted and pulled the strings so taught
As to snap, choking you,
Manipulating colours and threads until
I did not know which way was right.

What brought me to this?
I ask, bracing myself for the blow of your fist,
Your hissing words, all of which mean:
You hurt me – so I did – you do not understand.
Do I not?

Pain is not new
When it comes to you, yet now
I am the giver, you the battered soul;
Tragic yet poetic, it fills me with the cold
Of knowing: I caused this fire.

You expect me to act,
To be a perfect heart to fall
In love with the idea of love-
Do you know me at all?
Do you know I am scared of flying, letting go,
So scared that I would run, hide-
You think I do not know what I have done,
But with every word you apply to me, I know.

Let me be free, I said, then
Came back, filling my dead eyes
With happiness, thinking it would
Save me – but I, as broken as ever,
Gave you hope that shattered you.
Let me burn for it
In ashes I scattered-

You will never believe me,
When I say that I am sorry,
Say it twice, thrice, yell it-
It makes no difference and so
I run after a dream.

Leave me to my silent screams,
Hidden tears and bloodied hands-
For the web you think so cruel
Has a heart within its strands.

From Elm 🙂

16 thoughts on “I am the Spider

    • I don’t know! It just flows out of me – that sounds so pretentious – but I like crafting words and make them mean something. I’m so happy that you liked it!

  1. This is brilliant! I loved the metaphor and the powerful comparison. I especially loved the lines “For the web you think so cruel, has a heart within its strands.” It is a very intriguing read and I’d like to know more about line of thought on this concept that you’ve come up with. I’m off to read more posts on your site. Have a wonderful day! 🙂

    • You are honestly wonderful!! 🙂 I wanted to end my poem on a definite rhyme and just the emotional aspect of a heart because it reminds people that I’m human; it was the first line I came up with! Thanks for being so interested 🙂

      • You’ve definitely managed to express the emotional aspect of a heart! As for reminding people that you and everybody else is human, I think you’ve managed to capture the essence of that brilliantly as well! “But I, as broken as ever, gave you hope that shattered you.” (I hope I quoted that right, I can’t see the poem right now.) Lots of powerful lines in your poetry, I absolutely love it! 🙂

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