Bring on the Summer!

Heyy!

On Thursday, a day before the rest of the school, those that hadn’t managed to find outside work experience broke up for the summer holidays. Naturally, because I’m lazy and also couldn’t find any useful outside work experience, that included me. Today would have been a half day and the teachers thought that there was no point in us coming in. How was I to complain – it was a free day.

The end of the year was bittersweet. This week was great: I’m now the editor of the newly-formed History school magazine; that’s useful for my personal statement. I may be helping to set up another school-wide magazine too so I’m basically a 100% professional journalist. Not to mention it’s fun, along with sitting on my own in the Sixth Form area. It was surprisingly peaceful: I got things done and most of all, I was happy. I’ve figured out that school only doesn’t make me feel awful when I know I’m doing something useful and I’m surrounded by people who don’t panic me. However, two of my friends – Oak and another friend – are leaving this year. Saying goodbye to them made me feel so sad because they’ve both been here since year 7 and now, I’ll be the only VI one in my year. Oak’s also become one of my close friends and so I’ll miss her so much.

Now that I’m technically “free” for 6 weeks, I want to get my life back in gear. This year has been so emotionally exhausting, in the worst and best ways possible, and so I want my summer to be a change from that. No – I need it to be a change because otherwise I may sob.

To that end, in a similar way to Jasmine, I’ll be listing what I want to achieve this summer. She inspired me to make this so thank you for that! Maybe I won’t get all of this done but I want to approach the next month and a half with a positive mindset.

Do some work

Even if summer is for relaxation, I also need to do some schoolwork in some capacity. If I don’t, I’ll put myself at a severe disadvantage next year because we’re starting A2 content for A-Levels and I need to get on top of things. That’ll include rewriting and looking over AS-Level work notes, working on English and History coursework which involves researching, reading books for school and getting myself prepared. I didn’t apply myself last year; part of my mind-set change is to fix that. Further reading is also important but I won’t be putting so much emphasis on that because more will be put on reading for pleasure.

Look at university-related things

I may want to ignore it but university application is a looming prospect; I need to start working on it. As I discussed in this post, I need to draft my personal statement and also decide which universities I want to apply to by looking more at courses and modules. Yaaay, more brainstorming and internal (or in some cases external) screaming! If I end up actually breaking a window from my shrieks of frustration, I’ll have to apologise to my parents.

Enjoy myself at a party

I know, right? Me going to a party is so funny; I’ve only been to those types of parties twice before. However, to my shock, it’s happening again: Ivy invited me to her friend’s party. I don’t know many people there, not going to the school they all go to, but I think I’ll prefer that. I’ll always be nervous but it’s time I let go and just enjoyed myself, whatever that max mean. Either when people know me incredibly well or they don’t know me at all, I feel like I can be myself because in those situations, there’s no judgement. To that effect, tomorrow, I’m looking forward to releasing some of the emotions I’ve been feeling this year in the form of meeting new people and having a good time.

Visit my friends and connect with old ones

I’m the most happy when I’m surrounded by people who love me and who I love in return. Because of that and because I want to have as many good days as I can, I want to meet up with my friends. Not only that but I’d love to connect with some old friends, such as those I haven’t seen in a while from the VI (visually impaired) community. Rapunzel, who you can read about here is coming to stay in the first 5 days of August; I’m hopefully seeing Willow on Tuesday and I’m going shopping with Rose, Poppy and my sister at some point. It’s not being used to combat loneliness any more; it’s now a way to meet the people who make me smile the most. If I can one day meet my old primary school friend, that would be beautiful but I won’t hold out too much hope for that happening. I also miss some of my friends who left from last year but if I’m proactive, I can talk to them too.

Go volunteering and walking

These are some of the things that make me feel the most active and alive. I’m going volunteering tomorrow and I want to at least go walking once or twice a week: long walks around the park or by the river, with my dad or friends. When I’m doing those two things, I don’t feel self-consciousness: it’s equal parts peaceful and lively and with volunteering, I get to spend time with my two oldest friends and there’s the opportunity to be in the community where I can meet new people. It’s also made me more confident and outgoing.

Come to terms with my feelings

Recently, I’ve been feeling some pretty odd and, if I were in a bad mental state, scary things. Luckily, although I’m not happy constantly, I’m more okay than not and so I’m better able to deal with them. Over this summer I really want to understand why my brain works how it does. Going to see the GP will help with that; I don’t want to cry over them. I’ve done enough of that before. It’s okay to feel what you feel as long as you neither damage yourself nor others. I must remember that before I rob myself of any happiness.

Meet up with bloggers

As with last summer, I want to make arrangements to meet some more internet friends. If all goes to plan, I may be meeting Astrid which would be a dream come true because I’ve known her for so long. If you know me quite well and you want to meet up at any point, don’t be afraid to contact me: I’d love to meet some of you! One day, I’ll go to a blogging convention (I probably won’t mention who I am though) but that can wait until I’m more confident.

Properly organise my room

Is it weird that this calms me down? I have an old coin collection to clean and sort, CD’s to go through and give to charity, braille books to… What do I do with them? I feel bad if I recycle them. Anyhow, that’s just one house: at my mum’s, I need to sort out a proper shelving system for the year I’m still here because I’m getting so frustrated with the fact that I can never find my clothes because they’re misplaced. As well as that, I need to do something with my old Maths books. As you can read, I have so much to do but it’ll make me feel satisfied to do it. That’ll be one less thing to stress about and I have the whole summer to make my rooms my own again.

I’m excited for this. It’s rare now that I’m happy; I’ve been snatching up the beautiful feelings I’ve had the last couple of days and holding them close. Continuing that, through this list, will truly help me. I hope.

What will you be doing over the summer? How have you all been feeling recently! Let me know in the comments!

From Elm πŸ™‚

29 thoughts on “Bring on the Summer!

  1. Sounds like your summer is going to be AWESOME! Oh and just going to point this out, we posted blog posts just one minute apart. Don’t know why I thought that was relevant HAHA! πŸ˜‰

  2. I really wish I could meet up one day!! (But i live in bloody Australia πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­)

  3. Great post! Congrats on becoming editor of the school magazine, sounds great! Our school didn’t have anything like that! It sounds like great fun! Fab idea to have your Summer goals written down, I really need to make some myself. Good luck with the studying, hope it goes well for you! The university application process can seem daunting at first and hard work especially with so many decisions surrounding it but you’ll get through it! Follow your heart to apply for whatever you will enjoy! I would love to go to a blogger meet up too! It would be great to meet other bloggers especially you! They seem to be on in England and London usually. Maybe someday when I save up and hopefully get a job to earn money I would love to fly over and go to one! I’ve never been to England and I’d love to go!!! Hope you’re having a great Summer so far!

    • Oh my gosh it would be amazing if you did!!! I really want to come to Ireland because I’ve never been 😦 And aww it’s a shame that they don’t have that kind of thing in your school. BTW, what are you going to
      be doing next year?

      • Yeah, I’d love to, I’ve never been to England! Cool! Hope you could come to Ireland sometime! I’m hoping to study English and Law in college next year, fingers crossed!!

  4. Sounds like you’ve got an awesome Summer planned! I just got back from a week long camp and jumped straight into college application planning… Let me know if you figure out what to do with those braille books! I have a ton of them stacked in a corner and have NO clue where to go with them. I’ve been giving them to my vision teacher to use with other students, but she just informed me that she has no room for more! πŸ˜‚

  5. When you followed me I actually let out a little squeal. Thank you!!!!
    It was so nice to meet you at the party last night, I was very inspired by you and you really made me motivated to 1. get back to regular blog posting and 2. have the perseverance to follow my dreams.
    I know my friend and I (who I was with last night) really thought you were awesome.
    Thank you x

    • When I read this comment this morning it made me so so happy!! πŸ™‚ Thanks so much! I really loved talking to both of you; talking about my passion and also acting was so nice because it’s rare I get to spout about how much I love it in real life. Remember that your dreams are yours to control and they ARE achievable, as long as you realise that you have the potential to do it. I really hope that we can meet up again one day because I think you’re brilliant xx

      • I know that my friend and I both really appreciated having the chance to talk to you. It’s rare that you meet someone who clicks so well with you, and meeting you last night was so awesome. I love talking (if you couldn’t already tell), but even more so talking about things I love. 😊 x

  6. I think the History magazine bit is brilliant – in my school we have a magazine committee that produce an overall one and a lot of my friends really enjoy it. (I submitted an article about a club I run and even that was fun!).
    Have a lovely lovely summer and I can’t wait for more posts!

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