Sometimes, I think that hopeless wishes can ruin a person if you think too much about them. It’s something I’ve come to realise over the past few weeks: I love to dream but if I focus on them too much, I might lose my sense of what’s real.
There’s a certain form of escapism to wishing for something so painfully, with all the love and willpower you have. It eclipses everything, to become a golden roar inside your head; it sparkles yet embraces your mind with a sinuous haze. There’s a beauty and a fragility to it because it could be broken with the slightest wind and you never know if something that you’ve been concentrating on for so long will ever happen: will it be snatched away? Will the tower of your hopes be knocked down by some overactive child? Still, it lets you forget the outside harshness for a bit – it’s not a perfect solution but occasionally, it can be comforting and can let you experience a whole new imagination which won’t have the consequences of real life. God, I wish I could have that.
It all sounds lovely, doesn’t it? I certainly think so. However, if the world recedes to be replaced by the visions behind your eyelids, you can forget the very foundations that make you up as a person and that comprise the very solid world that you live in. You can become so attached to those in your dreams, the echoes that are somehow more vibrant than those in real life, that you start to equate them with each other. This is a high generalisation but think on it: if you spend time building a hero inside your head who is only a shadow of that outside your mind, discovering that can break your heart.
Some dreams are glorious yet attainable, others wonderful in their irrationality. I may run away with them; I may linger in the fog of happiness for one more second and emerge to the steel-grey of my rational mind to find that all the feelings of bliss have been forced down into a box of wishes. Your rational conscience could tell you that what you’re looking for may not happen but there will always be that insistent inferno of hopes, burning brightly with possibility. It’s not easy to separate them: I think that to mix rationale with visceral want can be the healthiest solution but how can that be done when the lines between them blur so elegantly?
You can’t be blamed for having an imagination. When you dream, you open a whole new way of thinking which can be so lovely and healthy to do. It’s when the lines of beautiful wishes and what’s really happening don’t cross that you have to take a step back and think: what’s real inside my head? Always follow your dreams, as long as they can cross into the realms of reality and as long as following them will still connect you to the world outside your mind.
I feel like a child. Desperately hoping, when those hopes will never come to fruition, I exist in a whirling reverie. After a feverish disappointment when things don’t come to pass, I – or maybe anyone – am crushed. Is that dangerous?
Really, it’s very hard to balance cold reality with the thrill of running after an elusive fantasy. I’m not sure how well I can do it.
From Elm π
You write beautifully. You use amazing flowing descriptions, but it doesn’t seem forced. I love it- you have talent!x
Ahh, that made me smile!! I try to put my words eown in a coherent way so that it’s poetic, to me at least, and so that I could remember all of the aspects of thought that I conveyed. Thanks for the comment π
I honestly just wanted to say that this post is perfect. It really is. So much so that I find myself in some of your words, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one.
I’m really glad I let you feel as if you’re not alone because you’re not π There’ll always be someone who can empathise with you, no matter what. I want to show that in my writing and I’m happy that I could xx
You are such an incredible writer, you are honestly so talented! This is such a deep post and so beautifully expressed!
Aww Kat, I’m so glad you like it!! π I remember this morning it just popped into my head and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Those are the best ideas xx
Yes, they always are! π
I loved your post! You are a really good writer, the words are so well combined, I wish I knew your secret!
xx
Bitz
I wish that I had a secret β thank you so much! π Also I really appreciate the comments you’ve been leaving on my posts xx
Don’t thank me, I leave comments because I love what you write, so thank yourself!
so beautiful π
Thank you so so much! β€οΈπ
I agree it is hard to balance the too but having an imagination and thinking big is never a bad thing, ya know!
I just love the way you write – it’s almost poetic! This post was amazingβ€
Thanks, Jas!! π It makes me happy that you think so because that was the direction I wanted my post to go in.
π
Aaaahh…How do you manage to write like this? Its so beautiful. β€ Not simple beautiful. It’s amazing. I LOVE LOVE YOUR WORDS. TRULYYπβ€ I’m reading it again and again now. Your such an amazing writer.
I really love how you can make me feel so confident in my own writing!! π Aww, you’re so nice it astounds me xx
Oooh ofcourse you must feel more than confident with what you write, because it’s simply one of a kind. β€ And haha, thankss. And I meant everything. π
Xxx
What defines a hopeless wish though? Or is it down to gut feeling to distinguish between the hopeful and the hopeless? π
I think that it’s a bit of both. There are grand wishes and then there are grand wishes that don’t have a hope of coming true. That part is subjective, where you’d have to rely on your gut feeling and instinct. Thanks for letting me think π
I loved this post so much! It really made me think π
Ahhh thanks I’m so glad you liked it! xx