I am falling apart, pieces
Of a jigsaw, spinning
Out of control, never quite winning
The fight to keep my hopes alive.
I hate myself, twisted, ugly
Thoughts sickening, screaming; funny
How I run to save my heart
When it’s too late.
If my heart is thumping, eyes wide-
Awakening, slowly, sobs that I cried
Silent. Suppress. Gone.
I might be
Ruining myself. Day by day,
Sick, sicker, sickest-
In my head, my mind
A fucking self-made mess and
Is this all I can be?
I am questioning
Lies caught in a freezeframe, my mind
A lie, my heart
A lie, myself?
Who am I?
I am falling back together; I believe
I am fake, too broken; I wonder
What the point is; I might be
Hopeful and hoping and hopeless.
And I do not like that.
I don’t know how else to explain my thoughts other than a poem. My head’s an utter mess right now but writing helps, a little. I’m really sorry if this comes across as attention-seeking or if this upsets anyone.
I hope you’re all doing well. If you can relate to any of the words I’ve said, I’m always here to talk.
Love from Elm 🙂