I’ve not been in a good mood at ALL recently, as evidenced by my last post. I am SO sorry about all that, guys. But THANK YOU so much for all your support – it managed to somewhat drag me out of the miserable burrow I’d dug myself into.

But enough of that. I’m taking a break from my usually depressing posts to write THIS THING. Actually, Shivani inspired me to write this with her humorous ways. Go check out her blog; it’s splendiferous.

In English on Friday, we were studying a thrice-damned poem called The Hunchback in the Park by Dylan Thomas. It is thrice-damned because poor ickle Elmitron doesn’t understand it.

My English teacher is the best thing. Ever. I don’t really know how to describe him – maybe I’ll do that in a later post. I remember him reading the poem My Last Duchess by Robert Browning in the most sadistic and creepy voice I’ve ever heard, and he paused every few stanzas to cackle maniacally.

So he was reading The Hunchback in the Park. And one of the lines was this:

A woman figure without fault
Straight as a young elm

I choked. And then, I started laughing. I tried to muffle it, squeezing my eyes shut. Unfortunately, my friend Wren (not actually called that but nature is bae) sits next to me. Wren knows about this blog. So Wren laughed, which didn’t help.

We were asked to talk about the poem. I put my hand up, still laughing slightly.

“Well, there’s a LOT of emphasis on nature. The woman is compared to an elm-” I couldn’t stop a slight fluctuation in my voice “-and the poet puts an emphasis on the boys hiding in the willow groves.”

I couldn’t hold back the pointed way I said willow. Because, well, Willow’s in my English class, and she sits behind me. You can read about Willow here.

I felt like a right rebel and I couldn’t stop myself from sniggering “Elm” every few seconds.

WOW SUCH TREES. I am so so mature!


I am so stressed right now and the exams I referred to in the title aren’t even that serious. To those starting your GCSE exams after Easter, you have it WAY worse. I’m sorry for whinging 😦

Exams and things I have to worry about right now (I start school tomorrow oh fuck)

1. My French speaking GCSE assessment (the second one). I have to learn 5 paragraphs and I’ve done that but I stutter.

2. An English Lit coursework thing which is worth 20 percent of the WHOLE FUCKING GCSE. And the title? “Explore the ways in which writers present emotional relationships in Shakespeare’s Macbeth and a range of poetry, bow contemporary and from the English Literary Heritage.” I shit you not. I want to cry. It’s way too much, and there’s too much to write about, and I don’t know what to do.

3. My Sociology assessment on Tuesday that I completely forgot about and I’ve revised a bit (before Easter) but Jesus it’s on all we’ve done this year (mass media) and to top it all off, I haven’t even done one of the essays I was supposed to because of stuff… Eh.

4. Small Physics test on radiation but I’ll probably do crap because I can’t remember things.

5. A biology test, which I forgot about and was reminded of today, on genes and inheritance. Oh yeah, and I missed the last 2 lessons because I was on a revision course. Fucking hell

Like I said, I haven’t even scraped the surface of exams yet. But I can’t deal with this because I’ve already had to deal with really shitty emotional stress because of friendships this Easter, and I have to do so much revision that it’s just piling on and I feel sick.

I am such a whining twat. Sorry guys 😦

From the Elmitron