I Have 3000 Followers???

I woke up this morning, on the 2 and a half-year anniversary of my blog starting, to find out I had 3000 followers.

3000 followers????!!! WHAT?! Since when, since how? After I screamed in shock for about a year, clapped my hands in delight like a child and generally partied alone in my room at 6 AM, I got on with my day in a dignified way. Totally.

I don’t understand how the fuck I’ve somehow accumulated 3000 people/aliens/robots to follow my manic, odd and slightly too-hysterical ramblings. The extra chocolate icing on the chocolate cake was that it’s my 2 and a half blogging anniversary and do I care that no one celebrates that? No, because it’s a thing now and I feel like I’ve received a statistical birthday present.

I know that the amount of followers don’t really matter but I’m sat here flabbergasted at the sheer amount of people who clicked that follow button. I mean that’s more people than are in my school, more people than I know and far more people than I can name. Also, it’s me, with my sporadic posts which are either too angsty for words or screaming about irrelevant topics. Why do people follow me again?!

These 2 and a half years have been such a rollercoaster but they’ve also been amazing and I can really contribute that to the influence my blog has on me. I feel real when I write to you; when I publish a post, it connects me to a small section of the world. Through it, I can help people, help myself and spread as much of my odd brand of positivity as I like. That includes me shouting, “YOU ARE AMAZING!” with it being backed up by some weird, philosophical realisation I have in some corner of my life. If it helps one person that’s great and if it helps 1000, that’s equally as great. If my words can reach you in some capacity, to prove to you you aren’t alone in how you feel, it makes me actually smile.

You’re all incredible. I know I haven’t been the best at replying to posts or comments recently; I’ll freely admit that. You still stick by me, supportive like not many people can be. Whoever you are, whoever’s reading this, you have seen a part of my life and you know me, in however little a way it is. If you’ve got this far, I know that in the tiniest way, you care and you take in my words. Knowing that makes me want to cry those happy little tears you get when you realise that people give a shit about you and the work you do isn’t for nothing.

I have some advice for you. Keep going, whether you have 1 follower, 100 or 10000 or none. These are your words, your thoughts and you are the one with control over them. You can change lives but firstly, you have to believe that you can keep writing and not give up. There’s so much more than numbers: there’re feelings, laughter, smiles and letting people in on however much you want them to know or that you want to share. It’s a kind of literary beauty.

Thank you. Thank you with everything I have, for making me the most myself I can be when I write; thank you for reading and listening and feeling whatever emotions you feel when you think of Elm or anything I write. Thank you for talking to me, for understanding, for being such a complex person that you write your own words and interpret what you read in a different way to everyone else.

Wow, I never would have guessed two years ago that now, I’d still be writing. I’m happy for it; I’m willing and ready to connect with my blog fully again and to make the most out of it. I know you’ll help me in whatever way you can, probably without realising. You’ve already done that for me and that means more to me than I can fathom.

I love you all so much. I have plans for the future – as we all do – and I want my blog to be part of that. I want you to be part of that, whoever you are, because through this blog I can talk to the most beautiful people. Don’t forget that a blog can be more than just a cluster of posts. It can open the world up.

Love from Elm ๐Ÿ™‚

Two Years of Being Elm

If you’d have told me two years ago, after I wrote potentially the worst first post ever (did I think I was being cool or something?) that I’d still be sticking with blogging two years later, I would have blinked in confusion and burst out laughing. Really, it astounds me how I’ve kept up with this whole thing: maybe some (failed) breaks and breakdowns but I’m still here.

So many things about my life have changed: I’ve come to conclusions about my personality that I don’t like; I’ve gone through four relationship-type things (bloody hell); I’ve cried more times than I can count; I’ve screwed up majorly but also been the happiest I’ve ever been. Through all this, I’ve had this blog: maybe I couldn’t talk about a few things but my blog’s been a stable thing in my life when everything was spinning around me. Constantly there, it and the people I’ve met have been the things that have kept me going.

To me, my blog’s a way to be myself. It’s not just a bunch of posts, comments or pages; it’s a way to hold myself together. When I think about it, it’s one of the only things that I’ve properly kept to: it symbolises my dedication or the threads of it. I can’t bloody believe that I’m still here after so many have left, that my blog hasn’t decreased in meaning for me (quite the opposite).

I know I say this a lot but I can’t thank you enough. Thanks for sticking it out through my posts: I know there are certain types of posts, like positive ones or situations that have happened to me that you guys like more, but I’ll still be posting how I usually do. The reason I love this place so much is because I don’t restrict myself or hide behind another thing’s shadow; I’m as genuine as I can be and I take pride in that.

I didn’t want to just be like “Sup bitches, been around for two years and LOOK AT ME NOW!” because honestly, this is nothing special. It’s just me, sentimenal as ever, marking the anniversary of something that pretty much means the world to me. Maybe it won’t to other people but I’ve remained true to my blog, to myself on here and even when I couldn’t say the full story, I could get my emotions out.

I’ve got this far. I’ve met so many amazing people, met bloggers, fallen in and out of love and held the hands of people that have hurt me. If I’ve already done so much, who’s to say I can’t keep going? Who’s to say that in a year I won’t have met more bloggers, gained feelings for someone which โ€ฒI truly want – how do I know what’s going to happen?

I’m going to carry on because blogging’s now more important to me than anything I’ve ever done. Not much could get me to suddenly leave or say, “This was nice but bye!”

Thanks for 2 years; your support has shown me that people do care and that I’m not going to be dropped in the middle of an ocean on my own. Through my bad mental health and awful feelings, various people have been there that I needed; how the hell could I have got through everything without you?

I doo’t understand, still, why people follow me – I’ve almost got 2500 of them. How did that happen? I genuinely never set out to be some kind of ‘known’ person but for some reason, people know my name and people respect my words. Why? What is it about me that lets people read my stuff – in whatever capacity? I hope you know how much that means to me because it makes me feel so appreciated. Ugh, I sound so arrogant; I’m just surprised I guess.

I love you all. Here’s to more years to come of laughter, tears and too many strange situations to think about. Honestly, I can’t wait.

I’ve been Elm for 2 years but I sulpose the “Elm” part of my identity was always there. It just took this blog for it to surface, after the two other “blogs” I had. I grew into the Elm you have now because of this. I’d safely say: being Elm makes me so, so happy.

Love from Elm ๐Ÿ™‚

1500 Has the Same Effect as 15

OH MY GOD!

I came home from a pretty horrendous shopping trip (mainly because it was boring, but my mum and I had dinner afterwards so that was great) to discover that for some unknown reason, my little train wreck of a blog has hit 1500 followers.

Like what?? Can I first of all just say, thank you SO MUCH, I can’t even eloquence today so I’m a little speechless.

I know I’ve said this in every single follower milestone I’ve reached – 50, 200, 500 and 1000 – that I love you so much, but the same still applies here. That hasn’t, and WON’T, change because you make my day all the time. Throughout my blog, you’ve supported me, read my terrible posts where I’ve been in tears, insanely happy (or both) and where I’ve spilled my life onto a screen. Do you have any idea how happy I am, how grateful I am that you’ve stuck by me? Whether you’ve been here a day or since the start, you’ve taken in my words in some form.

Whenever I want to feel like I’m not alone, I come here. I read your blogs, your comments; I write to get things out when there’s nothing else I can do. Perhaps it seems strange to be writing this all at 1500, but why not say it now? It honestly astounds me that 1500 people clicked the follow button; yes, most aren’t active followers, but the ones that are count so much. Every single one of you counts, no matter your background, history, hopes or dreams. The blogosphere isn’t a place where people say, “You’re not allowed.”

What I mostly want to say is that when I got 50 followers, I was just as ecstatic. To me, it doesn’t matter the follower count – whenever I reach a milestone, I feel just as happy. It shows me that I’ve got somewhere. The only time it’s ever had more of an impact was when I reached 1000, because something about that number held more significance. Why? I don’t know; I think it was because I reached 4 figures.

My blog’s not the biggest out there at ALL, but it’s my home. If I can inspire, or more importantly HELP, someone in the course of my writing, then it’s worth it to me. I blog because I want to, but mainly because of the community – AKA you guys.

If there’s anything I can do to improve, please tell me. Though I’m a total rebel and don’t conform to any stereotypes HAHAHA no, if there’s a particular post you like to read, just let me know. Your voices matter, and my blog’s not just for me in my eyes. It’s for everyone that stumbles across it.

Thanks for being so positive all of the time. Thanks for coming to me for advice, to ask questions and to just generally express your opinion. Through this blog, I’ve grown as a person. Before I started, I had no set objective or theme because I didn’t want to disappoint or pressure myself, but now I know what I want to do. I want to be confident, happy, and continue this blog.

For fear of boring you, I’m going to stop writing now. Again, tell me any improvements I want to make; I genuinely want to know. Over the next few months, there might be a lot of changes to this, depending on what people say and how I feel.

Sorry; it just hit me that I’ve reached 1500. ME. ELM. The strange nobody who’s prone to randomly calling people amazing and writing embarrassing stories, or supposedly “inspirational” shit.

Thanks again. I won’t say that I hope I’ll reach a certain number of followers in a certain amount of time. All I’m happy with is now, and all of you being here, and the chaotic place I’ve somehow created.

You’re brilliant. Don’t forget it, and I’m always here. I say that from the bottom of my heart (I mean the heart DOES have a bottom, but it’s pretty much the same as the rest of it, filled with blood and valves and tissues ew that’s disgusting I’m just going to forget I said that).

From Elm ๐Ÿ™‚

Casually Nearly in Tears

So I’m ALMOST crying, but I’m not quite there yet – and before you ask, I’m not sad. I’m happy. I’m SO, SO happy.

Because this blog – this fricking, tiny, inconsequential, unrelatable blog written by ME: the 15-year-old blind weirdo with no life – THIS BLOG has reached 500 followers.

500.

Five. HUNDRED.

You know, I often say that the follower count doesn’t matter. It DOESN’T. But when you reach a milestone like this, you’re just sitting here like “Wait WHAT?????!!!!”

Because, um, WAIT WHAAAAT??!?!!!! Okay. CALM. CALM!!!

I actually don’t care how many followers ANY blog has. 1, 10, 100, 1000 – okay, I’ll admit I’m slightly scared of the four-digit blogs because FOUR DIGITS! Wait, you aren’t scared of me, are you?

Panic over. But seriously, you guys can talk to me whenever you want. Whenever. I’ll always make time for you and will always support you with your problems, because it’s what I’m HERE for.

I love you all. Whether you were here from the beginning, or whether you’ve just arrived to this slightly strange corner of the Internet, I love you and think you are AMAZING.

For those that HAVE stuck with this for a long time, thank you. Thank you for putting up with my breakdowns, and my heartbreaks and breakups and miserable posts which make no sense, and for ALWAYS supporting me no matter what, and for NEVER judging me. You are the best friends I could ever have asked for.

This blog is my home. These people are my family. We’re all one giant community and it’s amazing to be part of it.

You all know what I’m like – you’ve all seen my thoughts, laid out here, and I’m so glad of that.

Nearly crying again, as ya do.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Keep being yourselves and keep being wonderful human beings.

Love from Elm ๐Ÿ™‚

I Love You All So Much

I hate doing these posts because I always sound like I’m bragging – I’ve only done this kind of post once before when I hit the 50 followers mark.

That number has quadrupled.

200, guys. 200. I am nearly in tears and I can’t think properly, so this’ll be short.

200 people have read my posts and liked them enough to hit the follow button. You guys have no idea how much that means to me.

I can’t believe it. I started this blog because I NEEDED to – I NEVER expected so many people to actually like it. I feel so happy and I want to thank EVERY SINGLE ONE of you.

It feels weird making a post like this. I don’t want people to think I’m bragging – “OI! I got 200 followers BITCHES, you don’t, nyahahahaha LOOK AT ME, I’m so great you PEASANTS!”

Er. No way. I will NEVER say that again.

My point is that I am utterly shocked at how my little blog has acquired 200 – 201 now, I think? – fantastic people that read it. Because you are ALL fantastic and I apreciate ALL of you.

The number of followers, to me, doesn’t matter. I was content with 50 followers – all I wanted was for people to read my posts and get something out of them.

No matter HOW many followers your blog has – 5, 50, 500 – it is still wonderful and you are still a great person. Please remember that. No matter the follower count, I’ll still like and comment on ANY post because any post is unique and wonderful.

I love you, everyone.

I don’t know what I’d do without this blog, and this community, and the friends I’ve made like Aiden, deepbluesandseafoamgreens, Cloud Busting and so, so many more – in fact, to every single person who has commented, liked, followed, or read my blog.

You are brilliant.

From Elm ๐Ÿ™‚

F to the I to the F T Y!

Good day, chums!

And no, I have not gone round the bend, off my rocker, whatever you want to call it.

Due to a slightly strange conversation I had yesterday with Aiden, AKA Bubbakavangha, “chums” is now my way of saying “Blog-mates”. Because mlogs sounded like a skin disease and bloggates sounded like one of those really huge boots that were in fashion 80 years ago.

That’s not why I wrote this post (though you have to admit that it could be a topic all in itself). As you can see by the title:

I’VE HIT THE 50 FOLLOWERS MARK!!!!

Yes, this will sound arrogant “I have 50 followers and you don’t, HAHA PEASANT”. I’m sorry! But seriously, thank you to ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE, who read, liked, commented and followed. It means so much!

Blech. I sound so, so…

But thank you again! 50… How the hell…