Sleepless Skies

Wren talked to me about the stars last night.

I can almost imagine them. Pinpricks in the sky, twinkling, moving so fast within the universe but to you? Still, there, up in the darkness of night. The cloak is broken by little diamonds, so numerous that you could never count them. Are they beautiful? I hope they are.

The wonder I experience when I think about it is insane. Stars are the only things I have ever wanted to truly see, but they’re as out of reach to me as they are to you. Long ago, I accepted that I’d never be able to look up at the sky and see more than streetlamps, and I’m more than fine with that. It doesn’t break my heart.

I have a wistful longing for it, though. The quiet of midnight somehow seems more when you realise what’s out there.

To help you imagine how both Wren and I felt, I’ll explain. We are one planet, orbitting just ONE star. If it’s dark, and not too polluted, look up at the sky and see the stars. There are so many of them, all with planets around them. It’s so vast, and we’re insignificant compared – just one human, on one planet.

Endless pathways of galaxies stretch out, so far that it’s incomphehensible. You can see a little of it from your window, when the clouds don’t sweep over the painting. I hope it’s so beautiful that your heart swells with it, because it’s what I’d do.

Is it just me that feels sad when I think of stars dying? It makes them seem living, that huge ball of gas exploding with nobody to hear the sound.Perh it’s just because it’s late, but the idea of it makes me realise how short our lives are.T’s a good thing – not sad, not morbid.

I’ll never believe in a God, but I’m still filled with a sense of awe at the universe. If you believe, you could feel the same – because here, it’s not about belief. It’s realising how huge things are, how terrifyingly amazing the thought of it all is. Do you understand?

We’re just a few people, here. Compared to the expanse of what else is out there, it’s nothing, but we can still see our own little galaxy.

If you ever feel worthless, just remember that you aren’t the only one. Whenever I feel really awful, I imagine the sky stretching above me, the wild expanse of space. Strangely, it calms me, and makes me feel peaceful.

In the way of a painting, the sky’s a canvas and the stars are paint splatters. I know that I sound too philosophical and like I’m drunk, but stars are something I love, that I could talk about for days. My friends understand, the quiet certainty of trying to understand the universe and not being able to.

Talk to me about stars, and you’ll understand how I think. On nights like this, I think about existence and have tears in my eyes because it’s now that I realise that my life is something I should hold. I love feeling like this, because though it leaves me slightly empty, it’s the empty of knowing that everyone sees things differently. Shooting stars are just a speck to some people.

There’s so much in the sky. Just… Look.

From Elm 🙂