Another Cover – I’m Proud of This One!

Heyy!

I’m sort of dying inside because I spent ages recording this, getting the volumes right and then being a perfectionist and being paranoid that it was terrible. Luckily, I kicked myself into shape and got a second opinion before posting it.

This is a cover of Little Do You Know – a song I adore, and which I’ve been wanting to sing for such a long time. One of my friends (she’s blind and from America, and has a beautiful voice) helped me to record this by giving me tips when I was freaking out about not being able to do anything with technology, so thanks so much!

You can find it here and I really hope you enjoy it. It’s not perfect, but nothing is, and I’m happy with it which is what matters.

It’s also rekindled my love for singing, if that’s possible; I now feel inspired to do this more often, as well as to do other work. It makes me happy.

Because of this, tomorrow, uI’m going to start working to my full potential. I’ve been lax recently, and very very unmotivated, so that NEEDS to change.

From Elm πŸ™‚

My Terrible Voice is Back!

A few months ago, I used to make voice recordings for this blog, which I put up on Youtube.

I miss doing that, and because I was bored today, I decided to record a new “video”. My new followers most likely won’t have heard my voice (you really aren’t missing out because I sound painfully posh) and since I’m awful at staying anonymous, here it is!

This one is 8 minutes of me talking about my breakup, which you can read about here. More spefically, I haven’t been dealing with it well, and I want both you and I to learn from that.

Breakups are horrible. Even though mine ended with no argument, no anger, it’s still very painful for me and that’s alright; how could it NOT be? There’s always going to be a certain sadness about things ending, which I’ve experienced in the (three) breakups I’ve had, to varying degrees. You have as well, or you will, and don’t be scared of it.

I’m not expecting this recording to be groundbreaking, or anything. It’s just one girl rambling about her rather insignificant problems, but I wanted to do it on voice. It’s all very well to write it down and I mostly prefer that, because I’m a blogger at heart, but I sometimes need to let you hear the true emotions of my words.

I hold no bitterness towards S or Pansy: they are lovely people. I want them to be the happiest they’ve ever been, because I know their great qualities and I also know that they fit together. That’s all I can ask: for them to smile. I don’t want to come across as angry with them, because I’m not in the slightest.

Yes, I’m paranoid and sad and I think that people hate me, but soon, I’ll prove that wrong. At least some people love me, and I’ll hold onto that.

Also, I’ve just realised – at the end, I refer to what I did as a “post”. Excuse me while I cringe in a corner.

If you got to the end of that recording, thank you. My posh voice astounds even me, and if you’re hearing me for the first time then heyy! For the record, I’m not a youtuber (that is HILARIOUS), only a blogger who likes to speak occasionally.

From Elm πŸ™‚

I Did a Cover

Hey guys!

Throughout the day, I’ve been having no motivation to post, but about an hour ago I got in the mood for singing. The song, Can’t Help Falling in Love (originally by Elvis Presley) is a song that I adore, because it means a lot to me emotion-wise and all that.

You can find the cover here, but before you listen, I need to explain a few things.

Recently, I’ve started to really dislike my voice. I don’t know why: people tell me I’m a good singer, but I guess because self-hatred is a great companion of mine, I find reasons to disagree with them. I ALWAYS think I sound terrible. I know that I can’t sing high, because I sound like a chipmunk or just STUPID. But because I love this song so much, I thought, “Oh FUCK it! Why CAN’T I record it? I might as well.”

I’m not trying to get pity. When I was trying to record, I felt so frustrated because my high notes were – and ARE – weak, and it upset me a little because I thought that I couldn’t sing at all and that I just sounded strangled or not strong enough. I re-did it about 5 times because I’m a perfectionist.

Yes, it’s not perfect. I sound like I have grains of sand in my throat at one point, and I was using my phone plus a computer instead of a real microphone. I know all that, and though it pisses me off that it’s not PERFECT and parts of it aren’t good, I’ll just have to deal with it.

That’s what I want YOU to get out of this post. There are times when you’ll think that shit is pointless, and you can’t do it. That’s what happened with me and my singing today, because I got frustrated and angry that I just COULDN’T hit that note.

But try it. You might not think it’s necessarily GOOD, but you’re putting it out there. I put it up there to prove to myself I COULD. I love singing; it makes me happy. I can’t love it if I hate my own voice – and though I sometimes can’t help that, I can’t love singing EITHER if I never, ever show people what my voice is like. I can’t love it if I never take the chance to sing a song I like, and record it with WHATEVER crappy thing I have.

I did it and I’m happy. It’s not perfect, but I did it, and it’s ME.

I really hope you liked it, but not because of the symbolism. I hope you liked it because I HOPE it was good. Screw all my pretentious crap for a second; music is just music, no matter how much I had to record it or how frustrated I got.

Doing something you love shouldn’t come with a “Oh but I don’t like THIS aspect of it.” I’m doing it to show you, and myself, that we’re all human. Things aren’t perfect, but take pride in that. It’s important that you know your flaws, but with every flaw comes something amazing.

I won’t say it was “challenging” for me to put it out there. I’m confident enough that I can actually post a video without getting terrified. It was just the fact of proving to myself that I was able to actually SING that was a bit tricky. But I did it.

Take that step, to do something you WANT to do. Prove to yourself it’s okay, and no one else, cause you’re the only one you answer to right now.

From Elm πŸ™‚

Exercising Is Fun

Hellooo! πŸ™‚

Right, just a really really quick post because I NEED to revise like right now and my timetable says it’s sociology today, and I need to do french as well, so YAYYY!

I made another voice recording, which can be found here and it’s about exercise, volunteering and all that. I hope you like it!

Hope you have a wonderful day. Keep smiling and being motivated!

From Elm πŸ™‚

Guest Post – The Story of Chwittsmats

Okay guys, I have wanted to post this for SO LONG. As he explains in his post, my friend Anthony and I have been wanting to collab for ages on each other’s blogs. I did yesterday on his – the link’s below – and now, he’s returning the favour.

ALSO, it’s about Miranda Sings. If you don’t know her, look her up on Youtube and be prepared to want to kill her. Anthony does the BEST Miranda impression, by the way. Hehehe I’m sorry but it’s true!

* * *

Heyy guys! I’m Anthony from aVeryAwkwardBlog, and Elm and I have been exchanging blog posts for no particular reason but to annoy you πŸ˜€ just kidding, it IS for a reason. Many reasons actually:

1) I’m doing 12 Collabs of Christmas and miss QUEEN OF THE INTERNET was up first [Here’s the link. Elm insert the link. DO IT.]

OKAY I KNOW he wanted to take that bit out and insert the link but I couldn’t resist. Alright, Anthony, alright, here’s the bloody link.

2) When you get the opportunity to post in the QUEEN OF THE INTERNET’s blog, you don’t say no.

3) It gives me plenty of occasions to scream QUEEN OF THE INTERNET which annoys Elm and thus makes me happy

We have been talking about a collab for ages, and it was supposed to be Miranda Sings-themed. If you don’t know who that is, you basically suck at life. Just kidding, but go check her out ASAP.

So anyways, hirs my potst about miranda, hopp u lickit

Tudey ima tech u guys the story o chritsmast. Becuz some poepl think its about prasents. IS NOT.

So dats teh story of chistmas:

*in a snowi cave in bathlehemen*

mari-“Oohoho. My name is mery. Mery madelene. Im prengant with dis baeby. Even tho im a virgen. Cuz i DONT DO PORN.

“Ooh. I can smellit. Is time 2 giv birth.

*herigehrhhe*

“Oooh look at it, im given birth to this bootiful babey boy. Ill name him jesus. He wil be the saviors of this.. of th.. um.. *nock nokoknck* ooohh whos that?!”

three kings-“Wee three kings of Ampiantchar, beaaaring gifts we traveled so far..

“We are the tree kings. We cum tu u with golds and encenses and murs.”

mory-“Tenk u for comin three kings, but ya rite, we didn even ask for those things

*nocknock* ohh whos that?!”

drummer boy-“I’m jutst a litle durmerboy

*drums*

“Shaaall i play for him burrapapampam

“Me and myy druuuum

*drums drums*

“Me aaand myy druuuuum”

marry-“Thx for coming lil dummer boy, but how isthis a real presant, if u cant open it?! Gotcha!

*nocknockkcockn*

“Heyy whos that at the door?!”

santa-“Hohoho its me Santa Cloths. Ive come to giv u all ur chrimstas present.

“Come sit on my lap litle jesus tell me whatshu want for chreitsmas

“What dyou want for chisrtmas?

*jesuts wispers*

“Oohoho. Sily litel jesas. U cant have that! Altso i dont think u celbarate this holaday so.. thats funy of you…”

jesus-“Jooy too the wooorld for i have com

Let eerth reciive her meee

Let evry hoool

Let arhsbk…”

santa-“hohoho meeery chritsmats. Now we can discover the americans”

So there u giys go hope u likd my story of christmats.

Teens Tell Their Story – Week 3 – YouTube

Heh. So I signed up for the TTTS Project, run by Caitlin and Sherina. I didn’t do weeks 1 or 2 because I was in France, and then exhausted FROM being in France.

But it’s week 3 and, thank God, I’m taking part!

This week’s topic is YouTube.

You’ve got many people who are massive YouTube addicts. I’m not one of them.

However, I know WHY people love it. It brings people together. It lets them watch people make amazing videos (because those videos are amazing) and for people to do what they love and post it. It truly is a wonderful site.

I love YouTubers: Dan Is Not On Fire, Amazing Phil, Joe Sugg, Boyinaband, Emma Blackery – but I don’t fangirl over them. I would NEVER write fanfiction about them. I don’t rave about their videos, though I love them.

I’m the type of person who will find a video on Youtube, laugh until they cry, then stalk the comments and laugh some more.

Some comments are awful. REALLY horrible, like on music videos and on controversial videos. It’s awful, but it’s what people should expect – as sad as that is.

In conclusion: Youtube is wonderful, and I love it. If any of you have a Youtube channel, I will DEFINITELY support you. Then again, I’m not a teen who obsesses over YouTubers: that’s what some of my friends do.

Sorry, this isn’t a very interesting post! 😦

Check out Caitlin and Sherina’s blogs, because they are wonderful.

From Elm πŸ™‚

Girl Online – CAN I Compare Myself?

I don’t really know how to write this post, mainly because what I’m trying to say is all scrambled up in my head.

I’m reading Girl Online. It’s a great book – I love the storyline – but…

Alright. When the topic of her blog comes up, I get jealous. It’s wrong, I know, and unreasonable, but I can’t help it.

The fictional character has over 5000 followers. I’ve got 430. 430, for me, is a massive number – it far exceeds what I THOUGHT I’d get – and I’m so grateful.

But when I read the posts she’s written, I feel… Weird. Like I’m not good enough.

She writes so well. I know I don’t. But she’s so similar to me, and it’s so confusing.

Is that okay?

Sometimes I feel, about this blog, that I’m not good enough: not engaging enough, not nice enough, that I don’t involve you guys enough, that… You know? These thoughts just pile on.

I was talking to Aiden about this – I think yesterday and the day before – and it helped a lot, but still I just feel inadequate. (I found the right word!)

So I want to know the truth:

What do you think when you read my posts? How do you FEEL? What do you think about me, as a blogger – as a person?

Everyone has been so supportive, with EVERYTHING – my love life, my problems, the things I’ve been through – that it’s overwhelming.

I don’t want people to be scared of me because of my follower count, or to look down on me because I had less followers. The follower count is just a number, after all, and EVERY single post is as valid as any other, and that goes for every single blog, too.

When I read your posts, I feel happy, or worried, or I give advice because that’s only fair.

I just STILL feel inadequate, like something’s missing.

Thanks for reading!

From Elm πŸ™‚