I know I mention many names a lot in my posts, and that some of the new readers have to go back ages to find out who the actual hell I’m talking about. I don’t think that’s fair so I’ve decided to create a brief description of all the people who I’ve mentioned on this blog. I’ll update the page when new names crop up 🙂
Also: if you want to find posts more easily, take a look at the categories on this blog. That should help you, somewhat. If you’re still confused, just email or comment on one of my posts, or this page.
The boy I fell in love with in October of when I was 14. He was one of the best friends I’ve ever had, although that friendship quickly became toxic as I became dependent on him and he started to have a lot of difficulties of his own. Although we were never involved in a relationship, he broke my heart in March of the following year when we broke friends; after that, we didn’t speak for over a year. He started to take drugs and I have no idea of what happened in that time. Though we are “friends” now, it will never go back to how it was before and I’m glad of that. I still respect him, even for his flaws and how I was treated. You can read more about him here because I can’t summarise the situation in one paragraph. Unfortunately, I have no idea how he’s doing now as I’m no longer in contact with him.
Somebody I had a rather large crush on from January to April of when i was 15. He’s funny, kind and doesn’t judge you – I told him of my previous feelings for him a year after they disappeared and he was fine with it. He and I were friends after and he’s trusted me with a fair bit of how he’s been feeling, and though nothing’s really posted here any more, you can read more about him by clicking the link. He’s now gone to join the army as an engineer, so I don’t know when I’ll see him again but I have a very high opinion of him for it.
Another person who I had quite serious feelings for from May 2015 to August of that year. We sat next to each other in year 10 and 11, and developed a sort of friendship in those years. It wasn’t one we’d outwardly show to people, but we respect each other – I helped him with his homework when he needed it, and we used to have quite a few conversations on Facebook but also in real life. After I told him of my feelings (and got rejected), we didn’t speak much, but the friendship slowly stitched itself back together again. Now, we don’t speak at all and I don’t like him much as a person any more. You can read more about him by clicking this.
One of the closest and best friends I’ve ever had. I’ve known her since I was 4 and been friends since we were 7, and she’s the only one I’ve kept in contact with from my primary school. She understands me more than I do, and knows so much about me that she could write my biography; we pretty much share everything and we can always rely on each other if anything bad happens. She writes poetry and also stories and is one of the most talented writers I know. As well as that, I’m incredibly open with her about my mental health, as she is with me – she really helped me to figure out that there was something wrong, whatever that may be.
Somebody I’ve known my entire life. Our families have been friends ever since my sister – and their brother – were in nursery. Rose didn’t like me much when we were little, as she was always friends with my sister despite being my age. However, since we were about 13, we’ve become very good friends and she knows me so well that I can just go round to her house whenever, and she wouldn’t have an issue with it. She and I share very similar book tastes (except she hates Jane eyre), and trust each other enough to talk about anything – I view her as my sister and so I don’t need to see her all the time to love her.
Rose’s sister, and someone I was always closer with when I was younger. She and I have so many embarrassing stories about each other, which she constantly reminds our families of, and we know each other so thoroughly that we can predict how we’d react in certain situations. All my childhood memories have her in it, and we were always around each others’ houses – so much so that it was the expected thing to have her round at weekends. Like Rose, I view her as a sister – she and I don’t have so much in common, but that doesn’t matter to me.
A girl I met at blind camp when I was 11. Ever since then, we became pretty much best friends: going on holiday to Florida when I was 13, France when I was 14 and 15 and Italy when I was 16. She’s always come to our new Year’s Eve/my birthday party since I was 11 – she’s a year older than me. Though we only see each other 4 or so times a year, it doesn’t impact our friendship; whenever we do see each other, we spend hours catching up on what’s been happening in our lives, which include lengthy explanations of situations I’ve been through, and all the gossip at her blind college. We have so many inside jokes that even a word can send us into laughter, and she’s always understood me and never judges me for what I tell her (she’s the one person who knows literally everything about my love life). She’s incredible and always works hard at everything she does, and pretty much everyone views her as sensible, having her shit together and I view her as one of the most amazing people I’ve met in my life. Now, she has a gorgeous guide dog and I’m so glad for her!
I met her a few weeks into year 7 and we became almost instant friends. We were inseparable from years 7 to 9, going round each other’s houses and being extremely similar in everything we did. Then, we had about a year of not being as close – she changed for the better, became more confident and moved groups, all of which I’m glad she did now. As we moved into year 11, we became much closer again – towards the end of that year and up to now, we’re the closest we’ve ever been. I can tell her anything, and we have numerous phone calls that last for over an hour where we update each other on our lives, the various parties she’s been to and how our “romantic” lives are going. She understands me, always has, and I’m so glad to have her in my life: even if she’s not going to the same school as me any more, we plan to meet up as much as possible. She’s an amazing singer, and her fashion sense and music taste will always be infinitely better than mine.
I’ve been friends with her since the very start of year 7. Though we have nothing much in common – she loves sports and hates reading and writing – we’ve remained friends throughout secondary school. She’s honestly one of the best friends I could ask for; she knows my face so well that she can pick up on my mood without me having to say anything. There have been times where we haven’t been as close, but we always manage to be there for one another in the end, trading stories of our love lives: the best memories I have are with her and Willow, laughing in year 9. I trust her so much because of the years of friendship we share, and that could never be undone by something like different interests because we’re not the type of people for that to get in the way.
Willow, her and I became friends in year 8 (we were in the same science class). Over the years, she’s become one of my closest friends ever: she’s funny, scarily intelligent, loyal and someone who will always have your back whenever you need it. I’ve trusted her with so much about me, her being one of the first people to know when anything remotely interesting happens to me, and it makes me happy to say that she trusts me in return. She’s seen the very, very worst of me, parts I’ve never shown anyone, but she never judges because she understands how bad things can get. No matter what she’s going through, she’s always there to support me and in return, I support her as best as I can. Luckily, she still puts up with me: we’ve had a few arguments, but I can’t think of anyone I’m more proud to call my friend. I fucking love her.
Somebody I became friends with midway through year 10 (when he found out I stabbed him in the back, though that’s a story for another time.) Despite knowing each other for 2 years before that, with me respecting him, we started trusting each other pretty much straight off. He’s hilarious, takes the piss out of himself and me daily, and is the type of person who, when you get to know him, is so different from how you thought he’d be. Red’s an amazing poet and writer, and he’s thoughtful: he can tell what I’m thinking by looking at me, and we sometimes don’t have to finish our sentences because we already know what we’ll say. I can pretty much tell him anything and he could never judge me; he’s also seen me at some very bad points and it’s made me trust him a whole lot more. He was the one that pushed me and succeeded in me getting professional help for how terrible I’ve been feeling.
Someone I consider my first proper and serious boyfriend; I met him online in October of when I was 15. He understood and understands me more than many people do, and immediately took the time to care about me and get to know me, without any preconceptions. Though we broke up in February of when I was 16, we’re still friends and he is one of the rare people who knows something about me that other people don’t. We have a strange friendship: I’m ‘savage’ to him as he is to me, he puts up with my revision sessions where i scream about my subjects, but I care about him and have never, and most likely will never, dislike him for any reason.
A boy who I’ve been friends with for 6 years – met him on blind camp – and he was what I consider my first kiss, the first person who truly returned my feelings and someone who helped me to grow as a person. Before we were 15, we weren’t very close, but knew each other rather well: he saw my cringey 12-year-old phase, and we’d talk a fair bit about anything really. He and L came to my house when I was 13 and 15 and on the latter occasion, we kissed; that started a “thing” which ended because I got scared and stupidly pushed feelings onto somebody else. We didn’t talk as much after that until April; after that our friendship was completely reinstated. I won’t go into much detail here, but we started an official relationship in September of when I was 16 – it wasn’t done lightly, as he knew and knows everything about me. He’s given me beautiful memories and the knowledge that I’m very much able to have feelings for someone that aren’t warped by anything. That relationship ended as he had kissed another girl – someone I’m friends with – but I don’t hate him for it and wasn’t angry with either of them. In fact, I respect him for telling me the truth, and for always being so kind, as well as truly understanding me. He was never horrible to me, and he and I could be entirely honest with each other; I consider him a good person. He’s also turned inso someone I can pretty much tell everything to.
This girl is one of the most talented people I’ve ever met. I met her on the same blind camp as L and S, and almost a year later, we went to Portugal together to be involved in an amazing opportunity. We’ve also been on many camps and activities together, most notably Paris and a summer camp when I was 15 where we laughed until we sobbed, staying up until the small hours of the morning talking – on both occasions. She’s such a vibrant person, sings and plays piano, composes, and has the most infectious laugh. Despite her previous relationship with S, I have no resentment towards her andthink that shes a great friend.
A friend of mine who used to go to my school – he left to go to college – who is incredibly different to me, but the beautiful thing about that is that it doesn’t matter. Our friendship started online, in a way, through messages on Facebook, and we established after I’d got over myself and stopped treating his messages as something to be wary of or something foreign, that we’d always be there for each other. He calls me or texts me when something awful happens or when he feels rubbish, and though we may not be close, it’s a friendship based off of trust, respect and not judging someone because of who they hang out with or what they look like.
My first girlfriend, somebody who I always respected and admired , and someone who let me discover a lot of things about who I wanted to be as a person. I met her through S, back in September of when I was 15, and we went from formal messages to screaming about happiness within the space of 10 minutes. We “got together” at a revision course at blind school the following March, and she broke up with me in May because of personal issues. We still talk a lot, and she got me through a lot of pain both before and after we were together, and has been witness to the worst breakdown I’ve ever had. She’s got to be one of the best friends I’ve ever had; she’s also come down to stay at my house and those four days were some of the best of my summer. I don’t hold anything from the past against her, because life’s too short for that.
A girl who I had a “thing” with in the summer of when I was 16, I suppose you could call it. It was a way for me to cope with my emotions after I broke up with Rapunzel, and though Jasmine and I were never “close”, I trust her and think that she’s a great person. She never pressured me into doing anything I didn’t want, and never made me feel like a child; walking with her and being with her made me feel confident in myself and that’s something I could never forget. She was something knew, and I regret nothing that happened with her; despite not being interested in her like that any more, we still talk. She gave me the ability to not be afraid of myself and who I was, because she took the time to understand me for a brief time. We’re friends, though she can become extremely paranoid and erratic, something that makes me keep my distance a little.
Somebody I’ve always wanted to be friends with, she sat next to me in Psychology in year 12. Over the years, we’ve not exactly been friends, but it’s more of a mutual respect: we speak in class, exchange a friendly word in the corridors and though she really doesn’t know much about me, she’s one of the people in my year outside my friendship group who have bothered to try and get to know me. She doesn’t have the view of me that a lot of people do, in which I’m only focused on my work, but whenever we have to work in groups in class, she always includes me.
When I was 15, I went to a revision course at a blind school and met Hazel there. We pretty much instantly became friends; she’s extremely musical, intelligent, and we could speak for hours about philosophy and our thoughts about anything. That first year, I very much fancied her – the first serious crush I ever had on a girl – and I told her that in June of that year, which she took very well and that gave me the confidence to tell other people, like Birch. When we went home from the course, we emailed and stayed in contact, becoming even closer I’d say. I met her the next year, when I went on the same revision course, and yet again we talked constantly (we also shared a room). I consider her a very good friend, and she’s possibly someone I respect the most; though she doesn’t know about many of the situations that have happened to me, I know I could tell her things without her judging me, and she seems to understand me without me having to say anything.
A girl from Wales who I met in the summer of when I was 15, when I went to France. I had an extremely strong crush on her, something I could never regret: she helped me to experience classic teenaged feelings, the flying freedom you have when you have a fleeting crush. Nothing happened, but she and I still talk and we’re friends: I don’t know her well, but the memories I made in France with her can never be forgotten. Sitting on the beach, laughing and talking: all of it will stay with me, despite her not being attracted to girls. It didn’t matter, as I was living and she showed me, even if indirectly, that experiencing those feelings isn’t bad or shameful.
Oak was the only person I new before going to my current school – she’s also visually impaired (partially sighted) and was the other person in my year who had sight loss. I was friends with her right from the beginning of year 7; over the years, we’ve got much closer and it was in year 10 that I started to really trust her with a lot of things. She’s helped me out a lot, from emotionally supporting me to making me laugh, and is now a close friend. I don’t honestly know what I would have done without her throughout years 11 and 12 as whenever I needed a friend or someone to joke around with when things got difficult, she’d be there. Sadly, she moved to another school at the end of year 12 but I’m sure we’ll still remain in contact!
Pearl is a girl who I met online in March. Pretty much straight away we realised we both loved books, fangirling about people and yelling whenever we get excited about anything. I feel like she really understands me, including the odd things about me that people have to pretend aren’t there. She’s musical, has two sisters who are fantastic, has pet dogs and cats who I adore and is one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. I don’t feel like I have to have everything figured out around her and I don’t have to try hard to be likeable or to be someone I’m not just to be liked.
If I’ve missed anyone out, please let me know!
From Elm 🙂